Moving Abroad, Chicken Feet, & Life-Long Friendships

This post orginally appeared on bestselling author Beth Wiseman’s blog on Tuesday. She is one of the fiction authors I work with at Thomas Nelson & I feel incredibly blessed to know her. Today’s post is a great way to gear up for next week’s guest posts. My friend Natalie will post on Monday about strength and weakness in relation to Chinese culture & the Gospel; Wednesday you’ll hear about The Red Light Outreach–a ministry to Chinese women trapped in the sex industry–from one of the founders. Exciting week ahead!Image of Chinese Street

I stepped off the plane, my head still spinning from the rough landing, as the smell of fried noodles and strong spices wafted over me; instantly taking note of what appeared to be thousands of black eyes staring at my differences. I nervously pulled my hair back behind my ears and bit my fingernails– just 14 hours ago I was sitting in the Atlanta airport speaking English. I felt as Lucy must have when she discovered Narnia. The wardrobe was behind me as I was standing in an unknown world of fascination and intrigue—one where everyone stared at me like I was a life-size doll and the words consisted of intricate pictures. I was certainly not in Kansas anymore. I arrived across the globe in what would be my new home for the next two years: China.

I moved to China to tell a primarily atheist nation about the one true God who sent His Son to die for them. I was there to be the hands and feet of Christ—in a city where brokenness and sorrow reigned because a recent earthquake buried thousands of children underneath their schools. Overwhelming does not even scratch the surface of the emotions I felt walking around my new city of 12 million. The most daunting task was to learn to communicate in their heart language.

The honeymoon phase with my new home ended rather quickly. I grew frustrated with the people staring at me on every street corner, some touching my hair and face as if I was an artifact. The general hurry of everyone in public seemed unjustified, especially when elbows would find their way into my sides or worse when I was pushed off a bus one time. Pushed! I didn’t understand why the Chinese stood in line touching each other or why people would cut me in line if I didn’t press my body against the person in front of me. And why the hurry at the train station? I have never before experienced such massive chaos and panic as the train doors opened and we were allowed to find our (assigned, mind you) seats. Grocery shopping in China on a Monday morning felt like Y2K was looming. And everywhere I went, people snapped pictures of me (without permission) and school children giggled and pointed.

The language came with great difficulty, many embarrassing moments—the word napkin and menstrual pad should not be confused, esp. in a crowded restaurant—and many tears over the frustration of the large communication barriers.  With time, I began to form deep friendships with Chinese women. The cultural barriers came down, brick by brick, as I was able to truly recognize that while they looked different, talked different, and had different customs, we were in essence the same in longing for love, acceptance, and belonging. They needed a Savior just as much as I did. My housekeeper Xiao Li and I loved to laugh and share a good meal with friends. My friend Zhou Qiu Yu and I both loved to sit up late and eat ‘snacks’ and watch a movie (however her ‘snack of choice’ was chicken feet). My friend Zhou Xin and I like to run together. Elengi and I liked to watch The Office together. One night, I invited my Chinese friends over for a sleepover. And guess what we did? Danced, sang, laughed, ate way too much candy, went to bed at 4am, and talked about boys. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?

Each day as I lived among the Chinese, spoke their language, and became closer friends with natives, the unfamiliar with the culture grew familiar. They laughed, desired acceptance, fought with their relatives, struggled with selfishness, loved deeply, had their hearts broken, wanted to be thinner, experienced anger, wanted more—just like us. While there will always be language & cultural barriers between me and the Chinese, my time in their midst was the most rewarding time in my life. Hard, yes. But richly blessed with friendships and experiences that forever change the way I view others.

Image of Chinese Friends

Have you ever experienced life among people from a different culture or background? How did it challenge your faith?

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Comments
8 Responses to “Moving Abroad, Chicken Feet, & Life-Long Friendships”
  1. Mona Greer says:

    I enjoyed Ruthie Dean’s articles, would love to know more about the Chinese, their food, how they live, etc. hope you can give us more of this…..Mona

  2. Ruthie, I don’t really know how to say this, other than to tell you, I believe it was by divine appointment that the Lord led me to your site today.

    Your post was particularly touching to me, as I have two, beautiful nieces who were adopted from China. They have gorgeous black hair, dark expressive eyes, and pretty smiles that could light up a Christmas tree. (The youngest is legally blind and will soon undergo her fifth surgery since coming to the states.) Both girls are a delight to our family and we love them dearly. Their parents’ tale is one of that I pray will be told one day.

    Thank you for being a beacon in a country that is indeed in need of a Savior!

    I will share this with my oldest niece who I know will treasure your words!

    • Ruthie D. says:

      Cynthia! I am so encouraged by your comment. My husband and I hope to one day adopt from China as well. Blessings on your nieces! And tell her parents how INCREDIBLY fortunate their dauthers are…most never have the chance of adoption. I have a good friend in China whose mother left her hours after birth in a snowy field–and a farmer ‘happened’ to go out for a walk that day (despite the freezing temperatures) and found her. All that to say…i love adoption and i love that we are each adopted by the most High King!

      Hopefully, you enjoyed Natalie’s post today (she is Chinese…).

      • Yes, Ruthie! I read it! And was so moved all the way through it! :)

        Yes, my nieces’ parents realize how blessed they are. Their girls were “found” in similar ways, but praise God, He had bigger, brighter futures in store for them! And they are indeed a blessing to our family and to their cousins.

        It’s so exciting that you are considering adoption from China! Praying for you and your endeavors!

  3. giuseppe says:

    “There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate – when he cannot afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain

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  2. [...] Over the next two years, I watched movies & talked about boys with life-long friends as they ate chicken feet. I learned Mandarin and became an “unforgettable foreigner” in more than one [...]



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