Are You Ignoring God?
“My husband and I often goes days without speaking. The silence of our house is. . .devastating at times.”
I overheard a woman telling a friend at a party.
“I don’t even see how you could call what we have a marriage.”
I continued to eavesdrop and learned she was thinking about divorce. No matter how hard she tried to communicate with her husband and have some semblance of a relationship, he would barely mutter more than a few sentences before returning to his computer. I was in my early twenties, and I’d never heard of a couple like this before. At that moment, I told God I’d rather have screaming drag-out fights with my future spouse than live any sort of marriage that resembled hers.
Last week, I was flying out the door to work and something hit me. I’d been avoiding God, a little sick of praying prayers that didn’t seem to be making a lick of difference, and overall carrying out my time with God as usual–but with a very distant, cold heart.
“Scream & holler at me. Tell me about your frustration. Tell me why you’re mad. Say whatever you need to say, but just don’t ignore me.”
Before you think I’m a quack and stop reading my blog, there wasn’t an angel or a booming voice. I felt God’s voice with my heart. I was avoiding talking to Him because I didn’t want to let Him know how I really felt. It was easier to avoid Him all-together than risk slipping up.
Have you ever ignored God?
It’s easy to assume that God wants us to approach Him in religious holiness with a host of ‘praises’ and ‘I trust you’ prayers. But what if that isn’t what God wants? What if He truly does desire relationship–and part of that relationship includes telling him how we really feel? Job did it. (Job 3:1-3) David did it, too. (Psalm 22)
Ignoring someone slowly disintegrates a relationship. Refusing to honestly express ourselves and remain numb is neither Holy nor right. God clearly says He longs for a relationship with each of us. But if we approach Him only when we have something nice to say, is that really a relationship? What if your marriage looked like the woman’s above?
In marriage, I’m learning that relationship means seeing the good, the bad, and the ugly of someone and choosing to love them despite the shadowy places. Michael and I have had 1,362 arguments this year, but our relationship is stronger because we didn’t avoid the issue–but talked (sometimes at a louder decibel than necessary) it through.
“God, I’m angry. Why does it always feel like you can’t make up your mind about where you want me. . .and us? I just don’t understand you sometimes,” I finally told Him on the way to work.
What do you need to say to God today? Are you ignoring Him?
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