Are You Ignoring God?

Image of Ignoring Spouse

“My husband and I often goes days without speaking. The silence of our house is. . .devastating at times.”

I overheard a woman telling a friend at a party.

“I don’t even see how you could call what we have a marriage.”

I continued to eavesdrop and learned she was thinking about divorce. No matter how hard she tried to communicate with her husband and have some semblance of a relationship, he would barely mutter more than a few sentences before returning to his computer. I was in my early twenties, and I’d never heard of a couple like this before. At that moment, I told God I’d rather have screaming drag-out fights with my future spouse than live any sort of marriage that resembled hers.

Last week, I was flying out the door to work and something hit me. I’d been avoiding God, a little sick of praying prayers that didn’t seem to be making a lick of difference, and overall carrying out my time with God as usual–but with a very distant, cold heart.

“Scream & holler at me. Tell me about your frustration. Tell me why you’re mad. Say whatever you need to say, but just don’t ignore me.”

Before you think I’m a quack and stop reading my blog, there wasn’t an angel or a booming voice. I felt God’s voice with my heart. I was avoiding talking to Him because I didn’t want to let Him know how I really felt. It was easier to avoid Him all-together than risk slipping up.

Have you ever ignored God?

It’s easy to assume that God wants us to approach Him in religious holiness with a host of ‘praises’ and ‘I trust you’ prayers. But what if that isn’t what God wants? What if He truly does desire relationship–and part of that relationship includes telling him how we really feel? Job did it. (Job 3:1-3) David did it, too. (Psalm 22)

Ignoring someone slowly disintegrates a relationship. Refusing to honestly express ourselves and remain numb is neither Holy nor right. God clearly says He longs for a relationship with each of us. But if we approach Him only when we have something nice to say, is that really a relationship? What if your marriage looked like the woman’s above?

In marriage, I’m learning that relationship means seeing the good, the bad, and the ugly of someone and choosing to love them despite the shadowy places. Michael and I have had 1,362 arguments this year, but our relationship is stronger because we didn’t avoid the issue–but talked (sometimes at a louder decibel than necessary) it through.

“God, I’m angry. Why does it always feel like you can’t make up your mind about where you want me. . .and us? I just don’t understand you sometimes,” I finally told Him on the way to work.

What do you need to say to God today? Are you ignoring Him?

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13 Responses to “Are You Ignoring God?”
  1. L says:

    Yes I have ignored God, time and time again. Even this week I’ve felt the worry of not knowing what’ll happen when I finish my current job in a month…and I find it so hard to pray ‘I trust You’ that I withdraw. I’m so gad I read this today because it reminded me to be honest with Him about how scared I am.

    • Ruthie Dean says:

      I do the same thing, Louise! It’s easy to withdraw & numb ourselves, isn’t it?? Anyone else relate?

  2. Paul says:

    He’s an “on-timie” God…not always on our time..but on His. We all have control issues…and most people don’t really share what’s going on deep inside. Speak openly with God…just like the friend He is.

  3. Mayra says:

    Ruthie, many thanks for this word is directly from God to me saying, “Hey, do not ignore me, here I am,”

    I send you a super hug!
    blessings :)

  4. Edward Lin says:

    Hey Ruthie! Great post! It is a great reminder of how our relationship to each other (esp spouses) mirrors our relationship to God.

    P.S. Did you really argue with Michael 1362 times this past year? That’s an average of 3.73 arguments a day :)

    P.P.S. I really like the new blog design

  5. Missy says:

    What a great post! There have definitely been times where I have ignored God. I never thought about it from the perspective of a spouse ignoring you. Great analogy!

  6. Angela says:

    Thank you for your honesty! Too often I forget or feel guilty telling God what I’m unhappy with or frustrated about – especially if it’s in regards to Him. This really spoke to me because sometimes other Christian women make it look like their relationship with God is all rainbows and sunshine and I feel like a failure as a Christian because I have questions, doubts, or even anger I try to hide. Ignoring it has always done more damage than good in my spiritual life. Thank you so much for sharing your heart, encouraging, and being real with us readers :)

  7. Danelle says:

    Hi Ruthie, my absence of commenting is due to being let go from my job and not being in front of my computer 7 hours a day. I have been reading though :) 3 years ago, I emotionally “check-out” of my marriage. D.R. was in Physician Assistant school and I felt like a roommate. I was sick of the lack of attention I received. It was a painful time. But I selfishly chose to “check out”- becoming indifferent to him. I’m so glad God made me hurt and want D.R. again. I agree with you. I’d rather argue and “hash it out” every day of my marriage than act like I don’t care and ignore one another. I’m still learning to sorrow the hard things in life together. Like right now in my life…..A wise friend reminded me to let D.R. be there for me. Such good advice. I try to shoulder pain by myself- not a good way to go. Thank you for this post.

    • Ruthie Dean says:

      Hi Danelle! Oh no! I’m so sorry about the job. I hate that for you. It is easy to shoulder the pain ourselves. . .praying for you. I hope this time brings you and D.R. closer.

  8. Lily (aka) says:

    Hey Ruthie.

    I know I have been ignoring God.

    I havent spent much time with Him this past couple of weeks, busy with everything from Work, home stuff, boyfriend, etc.

    I feel like I keep telling Him I will make time for you, and I never make enough… Like we would start talking and my brain would drift elsewhere.

    I have really been struggling to believe that He loves me actually and that I am His… I make so many mistakes and every day I see my imperfections and my constant need for Him. But the lies that I believe like, I am beyond grace, I have made too many bad choices even after becoming a christian and knowing very well that it is sin to lie… I have lied.

    So lately I question myself, was I even ever saved?Because the Bible says that we do not continue to sin when we are saved. And I know I want to be perfect, but I know that I can never be until He makes us new in our new form and that we are perfect through Chris right now… I just cant seem to live passed my mistakes sometimes.

    For example, kissing my boyfriend has become a struggle for me, so I would rather not kiss at all. But for him its different. I dont mind a peck on the mouth, but full on making out is a “No-go area” for me, because I walk away feeling tainted and that I have tainted him… I get guilty most times and not convicted.

    *sigh* Right now, I feel somewhat depressed… I just cant seem to do anything right :'(, and I honestly know that it is not our works (filthy rags) that save us, and that I can not do it in my own strength… Please help me out here. I need to hear the truth, but I also need to believe it. I am just feeling rather lost.

    In agony,


  9. Ean Gdaniec says:

    Yep, I was numb, rebellious, prideful, ignorant, pretty much all the things that made up a bad teen. Of course I said I ‘had’ God, but I only read his word about 10 min. a day and I prayed only 6 times a day. One day it hit me: “Does God exist?” This really scared me, but a couple months later, I’m now listening to his word around 2 and a half hours (planning to extend that time) And praying humble prayers more often. This is what God had planned, I stumbled and I’m coming back to God. We all stumble.

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