“Do You Have a Boyfriend?” | A Guest Post
Today’s post will resonate with many of my single readers. How often do people ask about your relational status and make you feel like that is the entirety of who you are? I’m thrilled Krista wrote in with this guest post today. Bio: Krista McKinney is a Nashville native currently living in Texas. Her newest adventure is her cooking blog at www.forbetterorworseblog.wordpress.com.
I was home from college, once again fulfilling my role as the stereotypical twenty-something daughter. It was a role I generally enjoyed, aside from the question that always leapt to the forefront of every conversation:
“Do you have a boyfriend?”
Oh, what a dreaded interrogation. Over the years, even when I had been in a committed and happy relationship, I had always answered this last question with trepidation. Growing up in a wealthy and conservative Southern town, it is often expected that one will find one’s spouse as soon as possible. I can’t say I was appalled by the idea. Like many girls, I had been planning every minute detail of my “big day” since the age of four. I knew exactly how the cake would taste, what color the bridesmaids’ shoes would be, and most importantly, how my soon-to-be husband’s face would look as I walked down the aisle. Alas, I was a ripe twenty-one years old with no husband to be found.
I unexpectedly faced this reality during this college break. Seeing my college graduation looming closer in the distance, I decided it was time to make a run to the bookstore to prepare to take the GMAT. I had always considered myself a high achiever, a woman who, although she would choose to stay at home with her 2.5 kids and white picket fence, could support the family if necessary. Therefore, I decided to prepare to apply to graduate school.
As I scanned the standardized test preparation books, I faced the stark opposite of my reality in the same squared-off nook as myself. A slender, blonde girl, no more than a few years older than me, was pulling wedding planning books off the shelves with her diamond-adorned left hand. She handed each one to her mother as they giggled and glowed over her recent engagement. I immediately felt the sting of jealousy and forced myself to pay attention to the reason I had come to the store. I compared the soft floral covers of the books she was flipping through to the harsh bright colors and complex equations sprawling the covers of my own.
Where did I go wrong? Why was I not living every girl’s dream?
As I gathered my books to walk away, I glanced at the girl and she gave me a warm, accepting smile. At that moment, God gave me a gentle reminder that His plan far supersedes any plan I might have for my own life. He does not fit His works into the philosophy of a small town. He has phenomenal gifts in store for me.
I walked away proud that I was preparing myself for a brighter future. One that would not only better myself, but one that would be more beneficial in sharing with someone else, should that be in God’s plan for me.
In June 2011, I walked down the aisle, and my husband’s face smiling back at me was more remarkable than I could have ever imagined, just as God’s plan for me was more remarkable than I could have ever imagined.
I was so thankful to have completed a graduate degree, to have travelled out of the country, and to have mastered my chocolate chip cookie recipe before becoming his wife.
It was so important for me to know who I was, what I valued, and for me to completely trust in the Lord’s plan before I married him. I know who I am–a child of God. That knowledge not only gives me peace. And brings peace to our marriage.
I know my single readers can relate to this dreaded “Do you have a boyfriend?” question. Can you tell us about your experiences and what has helped you embrace singleness?
If you liked this post, you may also like:
- “…God? I’m still not married.” | A Guest Post from my husband
- Do you really think you’re that important?
- What Now? | When Life Doesn’t Turn Out Like You Planned
- “What Most Surprised You About Marriage?”