A Single Man’s Perspective on Women Searching for Love


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Today’s guest post is from one of my male readers who prefers to remain anonymous. Read this post! A perfect way to start your morning—with a renewed perspective of compassion and grace from a godly single man (ahem—they do exist). I could share this with you all day long, but coming from a man—it often rings truer, doesn’t it?

Well, I’m out of college, have completed my graduate degree, and am working in a big corporate office here in Cincinnati: the good ol’ “American dream.”  However, I’m also 27 and am still single.  I guess you could say that I’m in that waiting/looking stage of life.

At the office, I’ve been working at these past couple of years, I’ve been able to develop friendships with many people, including some female coworkers of mine.  On the outside these girls are great.  Some of them are even the fun, bubbly, attractive girls. They are all always talking about guys (it seems like it’s all they talk about) and are always reliving the past weekend’s adventures on the town.  From just being around them at the office all the time, I can’t help but overhear and can’t help but feel saddened.  

 These girls consistently complain about “the lack of good men” and relive their stories of getting hurt, being rejected, etc.  The part that hurts me to hear is when they falsely believe their physical prowess will help them ‘catch’ a man or think sex is the only thing that will keep this guy or that guy around—whether it’s boyfriends or just the ‘man of the weekend’.

 I cannot help but think of the duct tape analogy.  Once you tape a piece of duct tape to something, it holds pretty firm. However, if you peel it off and tape it down again, it holds less firm than before.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Eventually, the duct tape hardly holds on at all.  You tape it down and it comes off easily.  In the same fashion, these women in my office date one guy, get physically and therefore emotionally involved and when that one doesn’t work out, move on to the next one.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Now they don’t know what or who to hold onto and nothing seems to stick.

 In a vain attempt to get a guy or hold onto one, they are willing to do anything, throwing themselves and their inhibitions and their convictions to the wayside.   They think that by not going far enough or not doing anything at all, they are ruining their chances of landing a guy, a relationship, a marriage, a future.  Which is far  from truth!

These friends seek security in a male relationship, but in reality, they find insecurity and heartache.  While focusing on the future and the next weekend’s events instead of looking at their lives in the mirror, they are creating scars and wounds deep within that will not go away with ease.  My heart hurts for these girls.

I wish I could sit them down, one by one, and talk to them.  I wish I could tell them how much God loves them because that is the root of the problem. 

 They have a longing: to be loved.  I wish these girls could see that God’s love is the love they are searching for, not some guy’s sweet talk, cuddly body or temporary security that he provides.  They are missing so much—because only Christ can satisfy their deepest longings.

 I wish I could tell them that I too was once trapped in a lifestyle that I couldn’t escape.  I wish I could tell them that regardless of my failures, God pursued me and accepted me with open arms and has taken my slate and wiped it clean.  He has taken me, a sinner, and has claimed me as His own.  

 For the females reading this, it is not too late.  NOTHING in your past can separate you from the love of God shown through Christ. (Titus 3:4-7) He is what you truly desire, not the next hookup or even the right man.

Share your thoughts with how hearing this perspective from a male affected you! Let’s discuss!

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6 Responses to “A Single Man’s Perspective on Women Searching for Love”
  1. The duct tape analogy…really interesting and so true.

    Sleeping with a man before he marries you is a ticket to being dumped really quick. Dudes pressure us but what matters is what kinds of standards we uphold as Christian ladies…I have been dumped for refusing to sleep with a dude and I didn’t regret it and the dude, though he couldn’t talk to me afterwards, now respects my decision and has since become a good friend. I don’t wanna be like a used up duct tape.

    Thanks for this post dear anonymous.

  2. Nikki says:

    Inspirational, indeed!! So we as women can only take a time out to gain new adhesive.

  3. Harleys says:

    what leads females to such foolishness? the persistent decline in morals aided and abetted by the paradoxical belief in increasing freedoms. Be free to live in your prisons of self-indulgence! You can be all alone there.

    • Ruthie Dean says:

      Hi Harley, I think most women don’t have a clue they will be alone when they engage with men sexually as the world encourages. The emotional affects are not discussed enough and a simple, “Don’t do it” isn’t working.

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