How to Lose a Guy in 10 Ways
I sat down at Starbucks to write a blog post next to a table of women complaining about men while wearing fake mustaches. Ah perfect. As Michael snapped a picture of them (pretending to take a picture of my stunning profile . . .read: sarcasm), I decided to write a post about ‘how to lose a guy’. I’m guilty of many of these things, i.e. I’m literally sitting here with greasy hair and if you could only see my toenails–so just laugh with me at how clueless we often are as women when it comes to dating.
I asked Michael and a few other guy friends and came up with this list. This post is half-funny, half-true—so don’t cry yourself to sleep tonight. Please.
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Ways:
1.) Belittle him, especially in public. Disrespect him by correcting him, rolling your eyes at his ‘stupidity’, and be condescending.
2.) Make sure to mention (often) that you make more money than he does. Steve Harvey says men need to be needed and by making clear you don’t need him or his money, you are taking away his man-card (Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man).
3.) Take self-portraits and put them on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. Lots of them. This was the first thing out of Michael’s mouth when I asked him what turns guys off.
4.) Make sure everything is about you. Where do you want to eat, what your hobbies are, what happened at your office—talk about you and only you. (Michael said putting endless pictures of yourself-party of one-on social media tells guys you are really into you.)
5.) Talk negatively about your friends, and especially his friends. Be a gossip and a complainer. Nothing makes men run for the hills more than negativity.
6.) Untidiness. Don’t shower, make sure your toes and fingernails are dirty, and make sure your car is trashed with ketchup packets and fast food bags resembling your greasy hair.
7.) Be overly feminist. Make sure every problem stems from our ‘chauvinist culture’ and launch into feminist diatribes whenever possible. (Note: it’s fine to be a feminist, but over the top feminism will make most men think you’d . . . prefer a woman.)
8.) Drink too much and reminisce of college (often). Nothing shouts, “I’m not wife material” like still pretending like you’re the queen bee of fraternity row or being the bar lush.
9.) Dress provocatively. You’ll be the first person he texts late at night and the last person he thinks about taking home for Thanksgiving.
10.) Over-share at the beginning of a relationship. Make him read your diary and tell him about your dysfunctional family and all your exes.
Have you ever been guilty of one (hopefully not all) of these? Anything you’d add to the list?
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