We’re Going to be Authors!!! | A Video Message

Michael and I are going to be authors! Real, published, coffee-addicted, “have you read my book?” authors. Can you believe it?

Last February, Michael whisked me away to a chic hotel in downtown Nashville for what he called “a writing retreat”. We spent two days dreaming up what it would look like to write a relationship book—together.  And here we are—10 months, several nervous query letters, one amazing agent, and lots of late nights later and Tyndale has offered us a publishing deal. Michael and I are proud to announce that Real Men Don’t Text will be available in bookstores September of 2013.

I want to thank each of you for reading my blog. Seriously, you made this possible. Sometimes I have to pinch myself when I publish a post and people are actually reading and responding to it—you’ve made my dream come true. Thank you for the million ways you bless me with your comments and emails—oh, I just love your emails. Thank you for believing in me and allowing my words and thoughts to bring joy and truth to your life. I am truly humbled.

In a sentence, Real Men Don’t Text gives men and women a timely handbook for navigating the often murky waters of dating starting with lazy communication and paves the way for more fulfilling relationships, marriage and sex. You are worth more than late night text messages and disappointing relationships.

In our book, we’ll break down his texts and tell you what he really means. We’ll help you know how to encourage your man to find direction in his life, without nagging him to get a job or turning into his mother. Michael will share how marriage doesn’t shackle your freedom or stifle your sex life—but actually brings freedom and more, better sex. We’ll both share our mistakes in our dating life and be honest about our struggles and past relationships. Real Men Don’t Text will address pornography, spending habits, unforgiveness, childhood wounds—and discuss how to deal with these in your single life before they wreck your marriage. In a chapter called, “Wasting Time Kissing Mr. Wrong”, I share the various excuses I’ve heard over the years from women about why they are dating who they are, including the ‘but I’m basically part of the family’ excuse, ‘He had a hard childhood’, and “We’ve already slept together” excuse. As women, we’ll discover how to find our worth and beauty outside of the number of men telling us we’re beautiful. The best part of the book is we get to share with you a second chance at relationships when you’ve done it all wrong—because we know a God who is writing a great story and wants you to be a part of it.

Enough rambling, here is the fun part. We need your help. In one of our last chapters, we’re writing a Q + A section where we answer actual questions from our readers. 

So tell us about your relationship woes, situations, quandaries, and questions.

Please ask anything, even if you already know the answer, because it will help someone else.

We’re giving away 3 $10 Starbucks gift cards to the writers of our 3 favorite questions.

Even if you’ve never commented on my blog before, will you just this once write in and tell us about how we can help you navigate your relationships?

Ready . . . set . . . ask! Will you tell your friends they can enter, too?

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Comments
89 Responses to “We’re Going to be Authors!!! | A Video Message”
  1. Marcia says:

    So excited for The Deans! This book is SOOO needed.

    Are you advocating for no texting whatsoever? Is texting ever ok in a relationship? I’m in a relationship with a guy and we text all the time, but I’m not sure how to break this habit…

    • Michael says:

      Sometimes texting can be a crutch. It’s not bad in an of itself, but if you find that you are using texting for conversations that you would rather have face to face, something needs to change. Texting is definitely okay but in moderation.

  2. Sarah N. says:

    I can’t wait for your book to come out! September is far away, ha. My question: Are there different “rules” that apply to sex when you are divorced and dating again? Is it realistic to wait for marriage?

    • Kristie says:

      Sarah N— I have not been divorced, so this answer doesn’t come from personal experience; however, I do no those who have been divorced and gotten remarried that have waited for marriage for sex. It is NOT unrealistic, and in fact, it is God’s desired plan! He doesn’t rearrange the “rules” for those who have been divorced. Sex is enjoyed best by those in a committed, covenant marriage relationship. That doesn’t mean it isn’t hard— I can imagine it would be an even bigger temptation to have sex before marriage when you’d already experienced that within marriage before, but that certainly doesn’t justify it. I pray that God would give you the strength to withstand temptation, and wisdom and discernment about marriage again! Blessings!

  3. Mary says:

    CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!

    Q: Why is texting so bad? Ha!

  4. John Mark says:

    I’ve been reading ever since I read your post about texting, Michael. I’ve tried to call instead of texting, but I find that women seem to like texting better. Is texting ok as long as she’s ok with it? I feel like I’m making my dates feel uncomfortable when I text . . .

  5. Kristen says:

    Woohoo! Go DEANS! This is super exciting news! I won’t lie – I totally was hoping this announcement was about a Baby Dean…but this is fantastic too! Congratulations to you both :)

  6. Halley says:

    Ruthie, I’m so happy for you! I’ve been reading your blog for about six months and love your posts.

    I’m not one to comment on blogs, but I’d love to win the gift card:) I’m dating a guy who recently got out of a tough relationship and I’m trying to give him time and space . . . but I’m starting to get worried. We’ll go on great dates (he pays, opens the door, and all the things a man is supposed to do!!!) but then I won’t hear from him for two or three weeks. He texts me, but it’s sporadic at best, and I never know when we’ll go out again. I guess my question is how much space do you give a guy and how do you get him to be more upfront?

    CONGRATULATIONS! Oh and I wrote under a fake name, so he won’t suspect anything.

    • Michael says:

      Hi Halley! If I am honest, this is where you need to guard your emotions, If he is being sporadic in his communication, he is uncertain. You want a guy to be certain right? He probably has good intentions and likes the idea of you two together, but something just isn’t clicking. Hope this helps!
      MD

  7. Layne says:

    1st off CONGRATS!! So excited for y’all!

    Q: How do you keep communication alive and fresh in each stage of the relationship? Starting w/ friendship- in person, over the phone, texts. Then into marriage- how to avoid the mundane routine convos, talking at dinner or over TV, etc.

    Q: Sexting- we’ve heard it before with teens and the dangers, but can this b playful in healthy way with a spouse? Esp if a spouse travels often?

  8. Kaitlin says:

    Hey Ruthie,

    I met you when you came to the Greek girls retreat with Vandy Cru back in the spring. Don’t know if you remember me or not :) So excited about the book! I have been reading your blog and just love your insight and honesty.

    My question is, how do women (and men, too!) have realistic expectations for relationships without compromising the desires and wants we have? I think girls, in particular, are fed the idea that you are going to marry the PERFECT man, when in reality everyone, regardless of his love for Jesus, is going to have faults. I guess I just don’t know what can be compromised and what should be a “must-have.”

    • Ruthie Dean says:

      Hi Kaitlin,

      Of course I remember you! I actually ran into Ragan in Moe’s a few weeks ago. Y’all are good friends, right?

      Love the question because we’ll definitely be answering this in the book. Just wrote a chapter this weekend about unrealistic expectations. Actually, I was thinking of seeing if I could get together with some Vandy girls to discuss relationship problems/questions and make sure we’re on target. I wonder how much things have changed since I was in college 5 years ago!

      Would y’all up for meeting up for coffee and talking sometime?

      • Kaitlin says:

        Yes, Regan and I are great friends and roommates! Meeting up would be great–shoot me an email when you have a chance and we can work something out. Cannot wait for the book!

  9. Michael says:

    Hey Friends! Michael Here! Yes texting is okay! What is not okay is being lazy and taking the easy way in relationships. If you are going to have a hard conversation have it face to face not over text message. I LOVE these questions!
    Texting is a symptom of a deeper problem for some men, a sign that they are not willing to commit. John Mark, sounds like you are very self aware, keep up the good work of navigating those waters of relationships!

  10. Renee says:

    So exciting! I’ve been reading your blog for a while now and have really enjoyed hearing what you have to say!

    I thought you could maybe speak to those who are still in the finding-someone phase. What about those who are single and want to be dating, but aren’t for whatever reason? Similar to texting laziness, it seems like many guys aren’t even taking those first steps to pursue women. In a generation where men don’t do as much of the initiating, how can a woman walk that fine line between making herself available/making her interest clear and letting the guy be the pursuer? And what happens when no one is pursuing? What can a woman who wants a guy to take the lead and pursue do to encourage godly men to do so?

    • Jessica says:

      I second Renee! This really is a problem. The last 3 serious relationships I have had were because I persued and I made the extra effort. Although I know it should be the guy doing the perusing, and yes the girl should give a healthy encouragent, it just seems that guys these days won’t do either. I have said it before a man should peruse a women like a thirsty man pursues water in a desert! Would love to see something on this subject in your book!

      • Ruthie Dean says:

        GREAT question, Jessica and Renee. This situation is SO tough, and it’s honestly not in the book yet. Michael and I might just have to include a chapter on what to do when the guy just doesn’t seem interested/or is unsure of himself/or just won’t make a move.

        • Renee says:

          I hear you, Jessica!

          Thanks so much, Ruthie! I would love to hear both your and Michael’s takes on this. Or maybe this could even be a chapter where you have a selection of guys weigh in and pick their brains for all of us ladies :)

          I do see how hard it must be to work up the courage to pursue a girl when there’s no guarantee of her response, so I completely sympathize with guys on this. That’s what makes me interested to know how to help while still allowing them leadership in this!

          Can’t wait to read your book!

          • Jessica says:

            I actually brought this up at dinner to my brother and his friend. Both are 27 years old and both are single. They both said it is the rejection thing, the text provides a shield. I tried explaining to them that women appreciate the effort and guts it takes to ask in person but neither of them was willing to change and not text.

            I am curious is the book going to be directed at women or men and women? If you are writing it to both it might be great to give the guys a guide to this area and really encourage them. Let them know how to persue a women ( a general idea since no women is the same). At the same time maybe Michael can give us ladies some guidance on how to let a guy down of we are not interested with some of his courage intact!!! What sounds good to is may be unflattering to men.

            So grateful for the both of you!!! The anticipation is going to be high!!!!

  11. Leeann says:

    That is so exciting.

    My question is How is a fledgling relationship supposed to get off the ground? What is a good Christian woman supposed to do to help encourage a potential suitor without stepping on his toes and taking the lead?

    • Ruthie Dean says:

      Love this question, Leeann. From the questions I’ve seen today, you are are definitely not along in this! More details to come!

  12. ms.b says:

    Hi Ruthie! So excited about the book next year. I can’t wait! I have a question that’s been in my mind that you will hopefully include in your book!

    I just turned 28, and still in the NBK (never been kissed) Club. I’ve always been nervous about bringing this up in a potential relationship. What would be an appropriate way to discuss this topic in a relationship?

    Thank you!!!

    • Steven says:

      Ms. B,

      You’re not alone. I’m a guy, but I will share my viewpoint on this. I am slightly younger than you being 24 yrs. old (next month). It does seem in relationships this becomes a topic at one point or another. The way I have always viewed this (people look at you funny if you tell them you’ve never kissed someone) is that to me kissing is more than just a casual, romantic process. I view kissing much like sex. It is a giving of self and commitment. You wouldn’t sleep with just anyone nor do you kiss just anyone. Therefore, my mind processes it as such: why kiss a guy/girl who you are not sure about marrying? Better yet, why not save your first kiss with that person for your wedding day? I met a couple who did this and they both agreed it was the best decision they ever made (both had been in previous relationships where they made mistakes before becoming Christians). I told a girl I was seeing that the first girl I kiss would be the girl I was certain I was going to marry. I was met with raised eyebrows and the comment, “well, you’ve never kissed me.” That comment I made ended up killing the start of any relationship. She apparently wanted to be kissed early on and I was telling her inadvertently, “don’t count on it for a LONG time.” What this told me was first, landing a meaningful relationship proves harder than I’ve hoped, but more importantly, this stance really proves how much the girl (or guy) you are involved is serious about the relationship. I do not plan on giving my body away prematurely, so why should I give my first kiss away? In other cultures, it is the norm to kiss strangers even. In the US, this is not the norm. If I wouldn’t sleep with someone unless married to them, why should I kiss someone unless I’ve made the same commitment? In closing, I’m not advocating that “my way” is the only way. It is my personal choice for various reasons with some being as superficial as believing that by waiting there will be a “fairy-tale” aspect of the relationship. Instead of chalking up numbers of the “past first kisses” I can live my entire life knowing my wife was truly my FIRST kiss.

      Finally, don’t let your situation be a stumbling block. I shared my viewpoint (be it right or wrong…yet to be proven) so rest assured there are a handful of guys to say the least that won’t care. If you don’t “subscribe” to my viewpoint that is fine and, as I don’t expect you too necessarily, I will share a second thought for you. If you are willing to kiss a man once you are committed in a dating relationship, this man shouldn’t hold your “inexperience” against you. If he truly loves you, it will actually make him smile (at least inside) that you waited for him. Secondly, if he’s been through several first kisses himself in the past AND he truly loves you, the idea of being able to lead and “teach” his girl to kiss would also be a pleasing thought to most men.

      I hope this helped in some way either to give you different perspectives on how to view your situation or, if nothing else, to encourage you that you’re not alone and that your “problem” is not really a problem at all. With the right man, you will be happy to have known you waited, regardless of how long into the relationship you wait.

  13. Chris E. says:

    Hey Ruthie/Mike,

    First off, I wanna say congrats on the book deal! That was well deserved even if I just happened to stumble upon your blog by accident. Ever since stumbling upon your blog last month, I knew at the very moment I finished your blog post that this is the kind of blog that I’ll keep coming back to when I need godly advice on relationships and what not. :)

    With regards to the question above, I just wanna ask about the kind of advice you would give to someone who would like to pursue a long distance relationship that spans two different continents, cultures and time zones. Your thoughts on the subject is highly appreciated. Thanks!

  14. Christy says:

    Ohhhh Ruthie :) I am so excited for you and Michael! Your blog has been such a blessing to me and now a book?!?! This is truly wonderful. I remember telling everyone about your reliationship advise, especially when it comes to technology and when and where it should come into the relationship. Again, thank you for being a couple that I look up to :)
    My questions: Is there ever a point in a relationship where digital media and technology is a ‘safe’ or ‘appropriate’?
    Give us a Ruthie and Michael outline on how both a date and a real relationship should flow, from start to finish. If you could give someone an outline of a good, healthy, and godly realtionship how would it look? I know it wouldn’t be the only way, but it would be interesting :)
    Also, do you have any tips for cross cultural relationships?

    Thanks and smiles :)

    • Ruthie Dean says:

      Thank you, Christy! Great question, because we really don’t think of texting as a “never ever” thing. We’ll have to be clear in our book about when it is and isn’t appropriate and how to safeguard against handicapping your communication.

  15. Maggie says:

    Congrats on the book.

    What’s an appropriate way to tell your significant other the real concerns on your heart, without chickening out and doing it through text or not at all? How is the right way to get over a long term relationship where your significant other has cheated but is willing to change?

    • Michael says:

      Hi Maggie! I hate that you have had such a hard relationship! I think an appropriate way to tell that person is straight up, nothing should be off-limits (i.e. you should not be scared at his response) you should be able to share with this guy your heart, and he should be man enough to hear you and not blame you for anything. My encouragement for you, if I may be so bold, is to take a chance on letting God write you a new story with someone else. I know it can feel like that person is not ever going to come along, but saying no now to a potentially hurt-filled relationship, is saying yes to a more healthy relationship for later.
      With Hope,
      Michael

  16. LauraKemp says:

    I’m so excited for you guys! Can’t wait to read the book. Here’s my question:
    Often times people are just friends before they date. Is it okay to text before you’re dating? Then if it gets to another level and you want him to call to ask you out, you can discuss it then? And I echo someone else’s comment about how dating couples do text sometimes… That’s fine right? Just as long as he’s not pursuing her through text messages? It seems like a sticky line.

    • Michael says:

      You are right on! Texting as friends is okay, if you feel like it is getting flirty, ask him to call. When you are dating, and even marriage, texting throughout the work day is a fun way to flirt, but not the primary means of communication.
      MD

  17. Congratulations you guys! Enjoy the journey!

  18. Julie says:

    I LOVE THIS! So happy for you both! I’ve been married for 13 years, but your blog has helped me reach out to women in my life who are unmarried! Thank you and Congratulations!

  19. Elizabeth says:

    LOVE your blog, cannot wait for the book!

  20. Leah says:

    Hi guys! Sooooo excited for your book!! :) I’ve been following your blog for about 4 months and I can’t tell you how much your words have encouraged me. Thanks! My question is similar to others already posted but I was wondering what guys think about girls, in their mid 20’s, who have never been in a relationship before? I’ve been told by a guy friend that that signals a girl is either crazy or a loser and, not to sound egotistical, but I am quite sure I am neither of those things. Thanks again for the blog and congrats on the book! :)

    • Ruthie Dean says:

      Hi Leah! I’m so glad you found my blog. LOVE the question–I’ve never thought about this before. Thanks for asking and hopefully it will end up in our book!

  21. Edward Lin says:

    So excited for you guys! Congratulations!

  22. Heather says:

    Wow! Congratulations, Ruthie! I am unbelievably happy for you! I will absolutely be checking your book out next September. And Tyndale – how impressive!

    I probably subscribe to an even more old-fashioned view of dating than you and Michael have (we’re going to encourage our children to court), BUT I would love to hear whether your book will include statistics comparing those who wait for marriage to have sex and those who don’t – and whether there are statistically emotional/health benefits to that (as Christians, we absolutely know the spiritual benefits – but I’m interested in how we can convince the world of abstinence also being practical emotionally and health-wise).

    Again, this is wonderful news. I am so happy for you. And I’d love to win a Starbucks gift card. :)

  23. jessica says:

    Congratulations!!! I so can not wait to read the book!!! I recommend your blog to friends all of the time!!! You guys are doing great work!!!

  24. Michelle says:

    Dear Ruthie and Michael,

    congradulations on the book! What a sweet blessing from the Lord. I think (out of my myriad of questions), if I could ask you one thing about dating, it would be this: what does a good spiritual, emotional, physical timeline look like in a dating relationship? i.e. What were the boundries you set up in your own dating relationship and those that you’ve seen around you? What would you have done differently?

    Your sister-in-Christ,
    Michelle

    • Ruthie Dean says:

      Thanks, Michelle! Great question about the timeline. The hard part about that question is I really believe it looks different for every couple depending on stage of life, financial responsibility, maturity, etc. Having said that, I generally think if you are out of college it’s a good idea to wait a year to get engaged and be engaged for at least 6 months. Any longer than 3 years of dating out of college is TOO long. It’s really hard to say though, because every couple is different.

      Thanks for asking! Tell your friends to write in with questions, too! :)

  25. Bex says:

    What I think is so tricky for many Christian singles or people who want to “do it right” is that the world is saying to go to a bar and find a random hookup (who, if you’re lucky, will stick around), and the church is saying don’t look at a member of the opposite sex until your future spouse gets revealed to you. These are two extremes, of course, but I think a lot of us feel stuck. As a women, I believed for a long time that if I liked a guy, I had to wait silently (in my case, almost 2 years) to see if he would figure it out, because God forbid I come across as the initiator. For guys, I think there is a fear of rejection, and also of coming across the wrong way.

    Where can we find balance, and how can a relationship start properly? (online dating aside)

  26. Jessica says:

    Congratulations! I love the blog, and I can’t wait for the book!

    If we were friends that dated and he’s now dating someone else, is it wrong to keep in contact?

    • Ruthie Dean says:

      Thanks, Jess! Eww, great question. I want to say, “no”–but there might be exceptions. How do you define “keeping in contact”?

  27. Tonya says:

    So excited for you guys!! I love reading your posts!!

    Q: Do you feel “the rules” are different for the stage of life you are in (never-married, divorced, widowed) and/or age group?

    Q: The ever popular committment-shy guys category…is it worth waiting around? For my particular situation, he considers me his best friend, we are always hanging out together, but he just won’t make that leap into a romantic relationship (he’s been hurt bad by a divorce and another relationship).

    • Ruthie Dean says:

      Hi Tonya! Great questions–thanks for writing in. Re: your first question-yes, I do think there are different guidelines/rules that apply depending on your stage of life, with the exception of sex. Sex outside of marriage is dangerous–no matter if you have had it before or not, have been married before or not. You never get “old enough” or “mature enough” to deal with the consequences of sex outside of marriage. Sorry if this was too direct!

      Great question about committment-shy guys. Will answer in the book!

  28. Congratulations on the book deal, Ruthie and Michael! God is good!

    Would you mind sharing your thoughts on physical boundaries during courtship? :) i don’t know if it’s something people want to hear..but i know its crucial (and well-taught where I come from). I’ve just been wondering if boundaries are taught here and if they are, how they look like :) oh and the boundaries am talking about include dressing, language, physical touch e.t.c

  29. Ellen says:

    Yes! This made my day!

    Here is my question(s):

    The Bible says that women are to submit to their husbands when they are married. What does this look like? How to I not submit to a guy when we are dating while still showing his the respect he deserves and needs?

  30. Sam says:

    Congrats! I’ve been reading your blog for a little over a year now, and I have enjoyed every post! I’m looking forward to reading your book next fall!

    My question is this: how far physically and sexually should a dating relationship go and how quickly should things progress? I’ve always been told by youth pastors and preachers that premarital sex is a big no-no, but that brings up the question of what defines sex and who has the right to define it? And how does a Christian deal with it when the world is telling us that any kind of sex is okay?

  31. Rebekah says:

    Ooh, I really appreciate your blog and am excited for your book! That is awesome news :)

    For relationship questions, I have a few that I’d love to hear your opinion on! (even in a blog post):

    -How can I bring up and establish clear boundaries at the start of a relationship? (physical/emotional/spiritual- but also dating expectations and where it’s heading)

    -How can you tell a guy is serious about his relationship with Jesus before getting too involved? What are some traits to look for and what are some red flags?

    -What should I do if I’m interested in a man but I’m the girl and think I’m worth being asked out on a date? Just wait and pray about it, or make some effort to get to know him better as a friend, or somehow let him know my interest? I have no idea where to go with this one! (I’m a quiet person in general and pretty reserved about my feelings so usually I simply do nothing, but I’ve never met anyone quite like him before.) :)

    -How can I keep serving Christ at the centre of a dating/marriage relationship?

    • Brittney says:

      This is my life. haha Good questions!

    • Ruthie Dean says:

      Hi Rebekah!

      GREAT questions. Thanks for asking. We are answering all your questions in the book, so stay tuned:) Love the question about how to show interest in a guy you like–a lot of people are asking. I really do think it’s ok to let a guy know you are interested–most guys won’t just figure it out. Spend time with him, smile, be friendly, drop hints–I don’t see anything wrong with that. More to come on this one…

  32. Olivia says:

    How should we handle “pre-relationships?” In other words, how can you be selfless towards someone before you are dating? What are some of the guidelines for boundaries in an unofficial relationship? What advice do you have for a friendship when one person has feelings for the other, but it’s not mutual?

  33. Brittney says:

    Congratulations on the book! I am SO pumped. I am a college student and often pull up the ‘Real Men Don’t Text’ post for friends and even unbelieving girls who are lost in their relationships. They love it. It has been such and encouragement and super applicable in our lives, thank you!

    Now for my question: :)

    When is the appropriate time to have a DTR? (Define the relationship) In my experience, once the DTR happens and each person knows exactly what the other’s intentions are, it’s easy to get caught up in the ‘feel-good’ emotions or jump to conclusions. Do you think it’s better to do it right from the start or after a few dates, even longer, or not at all?

  34. John Gunter says:

    Congrats, Ruthie. . . thrilled for you guys!

  35. Denise Hunter says:

    Such wonderful news! So happy for you both!

  36. Andrea says:

    oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness!!! soooo excited for you two! I can’t wait to read your book! I want some hang out time so we can catch up. miss u :)

  37. Catherine says:

    CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!

  38. Mayra says:

    Ruthie and Michael!!

    Ruthie!

    wow! it’s great! CONGRATULATIONS! I already have that book in my hands!

  39. Rebecca says:

    I am beyond excited for your book!

    What is the number one characteristic to look for to see if a guy loves Jesus?

  40. Lee H. says:

    LOVE your blog RUTHIE! I’m going to tell ALL my friends about this book.

    I really like this guy in my chemistry class and I want to let him know I’m interested (I think he thinks he doesn’t have a chance with me). I’ve tried flirting, giving hints, etc.–but I’m wondering if I should just come out and say it. How do I tell him?!

  41. Catherine Richland says:

    How long should I wait to start dating a divorced man? His wife cheated on him (so he’s not the one at fault)–but he’s only been divorced for 2 months. He’s been texting me (go figure) but I don’t know if it’s too soon.

  42. Sierra says:

    This is so exciting!! Congratulations!! Will pray for you two:)

  43. Woohoo!!!! I am so excited for y’all and so excited to read the finished product! My question:

    In a relationship, where is the line between dumping too much emotional baggage because it makes you feel better (your own little counseling session) and not sharing enough, keeping the other person at arm’s length?

  44. Natalie says:

    BIG Congratulations to your book! I’m so excited for you and have told many of my friends about your book! I’m so proud of you, and I know your book is in great need! I love how you and Michael work together on this book, beautiful witness of a godly marriage! Question: How do you know if you are ready for marriage(for girls/guys)?

    • Ruthie Dean says:

      Thanks dear! Such a hard question–I’m not sure! I don’t know if we are ever really “ready” for marriage completely, so at some point you just have to know you’ve done all you can to prepare and take the plunge! :)

  45. Madison says:

    Congrats you two!

    Q: What can women do to make/encourage/set up men to pursue them or date them in a more old-fashioned, chivalrous way? Besides asking them to not text, of course.

  46. Danelle says:

    Oh my gosh!!! So exciting Ruthie! I will buy that book for sure! What an important issue to address. I know so many people will be changed by your words. May God be glorified in the whole journey! xoxo

  47. Kelsey says:

    I am SO glad you are writing this book! My boyfriend (soon to be fiance) never texted me at the beginning of our relationship and I started to panic wondering if he even liked me!? All of my non-Christian friend’s had their boyfriends texting them 24/7. But then I realized that I didn’t want him to text me because it took away from our real life conversations. He only texts me when we need to make plans or every now and then to say he misses me- never to have conversations that are important. Also- it helps me focus on God and my life and my friends. Rather than constantly having communication with him 24/7 it helps me to be in communication with God 24/7.

    Anyways- My question now is— At what point in a Christian dating relationship should you go into detail about your past and open up? We are planning on getting engaged in a few months and aren’t sure when to have the more intimate and detailed “this is my past” conversations. I think now is an okay time- but at the same time I’m nervous about oversharing. How much does he really need to know? I certainly don’t want to hide anything, but I don’t want him to be brokenhearted either about my sexual history. I don’t want Satan to use that knowledge against him. What do you think about when and how much to share? (sorry for the very wordy question)

  48. Adam says:

    I like how you left the video unedited at the beginning and end. Thats cool.

  49. SheaLyn Lane says:

    Hi! I just started reading your blog and I love your train of thought and premise around this whole book! I am a college student and I have found myself in the trap of the texting/facebooking thing and have realized over and over that I don’t respect a guy who can’t just talk to me face to face and be a man!

    My question for you is:
    How do I, as a woman, not focus on working to get the guy’s attention, but still show that I am interested? or in other words, what does being confident, yet womanly around a guy that I respect and like, look like?

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