Dear Mr. Valentine

Dear Mr. Valentine, please don’t make my amazing readers who are disheartened that they are alone feel terrible today. They have already been chosen and I’d appreciate if you stopped filling their minds with lies about their worth. Yours Truly, R.D.

Happy Valentine’s Day from The Deans!

I had the utmost privilege of speaking at Vanderbilt Women’s Night last night, so I really don’t have many words left for today.

Last night, I was reminded of the power of story. Telling our stories helps us remember God’s faithfulness and show others they are not alone. Telling our stories can make us feel weak, but our good Dad promises that whenever we are weak, He is strong (2 Corinthians 12).

Most of my talk was planned, but one thing I said seemed to come completely out of nowhere. At that point in my talk, I addressed the girls who hadn’t been chosen, who’d been overlooked for years, and who sat wondering if it would ever be their time. The women who felt inadequate because culture told them they were not worth as much as the girl sitting next to them who perhaps has a string of suitors, wears a smaller size, and has a more winsome personality.

“God choses you. Even when you don’t choose Him, He chooses you.”

I thought about that truth this morning—remembering all the years I ran from God. All the years, I rolled my eyes at the notion of Jesus because I thought Christians were boring, went to bed at 9pm, frumpy, judgmental, and weird. And God never gave up on me. Even when I didn’t believe in myself, He never stopped choosing me.

This Valentine’s Day, I’m not thinking too much about my husband’s love. I do love Him with all my heart, but nothing compares to the God of the Universe using your story, despite all the years you ran from Him. Whether you are alone or with someone today,  I hope—and pray—you think upon the idea that maybe trusting our good Dad is the only answer to a better love life. So long, Mr. Valentine!

P.S. If your phone buzzes today and you have a text that looks anything like what my friend recently received (from a guy she’d just met). R.U.N. Don’t text back. And please send me a screen shot.

text message

Oh yes. He did actually say that.

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3 Responses to “Dear Mr. Valentine”
  1. Becca says:

    I appreciate your post, while I was feeling pretty strong going into Valentines I received a lovely text from a guy that threatened destroy that. I love this man and I shouldn’t. I chose him and opened up to him because he seemed “different than the rest”, or at least I told myself that. And then when he didn’t want to commit, but still wants to be in constant contact I stayed around, for over a year. Now when he is moving on to another girl I try to figure out what is wrong with me that he doesn’t want me. Ugh! I get a text saying Happy Valentines after several weeks of not talking, leaving me wondering why he text me and what does it mean? Does he still care? Is there part of him that still wants me? Fast forward a couple days and I see pictures of him with another girl at a Valentines Banquet with his family at their church, talk about a reality check.

    So I am clinging to as many truthful blogs, verses, and quotes I have compiled for just such moments of weakness, hoping to continue to take one step at a time and move on. I appreciate your post reminding me that I am chosen and loved by Jesus which is far greater than any man could ever hope to offer.

    • Ruthie Dean says:

      Hi Becca,

      I’m so sorry! How disappointing! You are CHOSEN and I’m so glad you are reminding yourself of this truth. Our book, Real Men Don’t Text, comes out in September, and I hope you’ll find further encouragement in it’s pages.

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