Fool-Proof Your Marriage | What are Your Rules?
Lambert and Shelton have three rules:
1.) See each other every two weeks (because they are both on the road).
2.) Miranda can check Shelton’s texts (oh texting).
3.) She chaperones her husband on The Voice (sounds like a parent/child rule, but anyways…).
Bert asked other couples to call in and share the ways they ‘fool-proof’ their relationships. I jotted down a few to give you an idea:
- No hard conversations after 10pm
- No passwords on computers, iPads
- Passwords for social media are shared with spouse.
- No cursing or nasty language in a fight.
- Always talk to your spouse FIRST before going to a friend or family member.
All great rules, wouldn’t you say? One woman called in and said, “He can look at other women, he can watch as much porn as he wants, but he is not allowed to have conversations with or message other women.” Yikes. I thought it was interesting she considered a Twitter message more serious than watching porn.
I love Bert’s radio show because it gives me a great glimpse into real people’s lives and into culture. Did you know 70% of divorce cases call social media into question (because so many affairs start with innocent messages). Crazy, right?
Michael and I have a few rules of our own in marriage to keep our marriage protected.
- No 1:1 meetings or meals with someone of the opposite sex.
- No emotional discussions with someone of the opposite sex (including giving or taking advice and especially talking about our spouse).
- If someone of the opposite sex emails us, messages us, etc. about something personal–we let each other know.
- If someone of the opposite sex pays extra attention to us, we let the other know.
It might sound too rigid, but we listened to this great series when we were dating called Guardrails and were absolutely convinced that we would never regret setting strict boundaries to keep our marriage safe. Occasionally, we run into situations where there is an exception or something we can’t avoid, but isn’t it better for a surprise one on one coffee or an emotional email to set off warning signals rather than waiting until it’s too late?
Michael and I don’t believe you can ever be too careful with a marriage. Grey, nonspecific boundaries often lead to specific regrets.
What about you? What rules do you have in your relationship? What is off-limits for you?
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- Don’t Text Back [And Other Rules for Catching Mr. Right]
- Red Flags, Giving Grace, and Sleeping Husbands