Stop Waiting for Him to Ask You Out
In college, I waited—like I thought every good Christian girl was supposed to.
The Christian rhetoric of “men initiate, women respond” gridlocked my heart into eleven months of waiting. As the story often goes, I really liked this great guy. Our relationship escalated from group hangouts, to study breaks and late-night runs, and from there on to dinners off-campus and formal events. He never expressed his feelings per se, so I mastered the art of channeling my anxiety about his ambiguity by scribbling in my prayer journal. I was that girl.
“Does he like me? Will he ever profess his true feelings?” I asked God, but I never asked my crush.
I didn’t ask him how he felt because I was told good Christian women’ don’t initiate, and speaking up crossed into the forbidden category of pursuing. I was instructed to pray more, trust God, sit by the phone, and wait. As a result, I lost my voice. And as it turned out, he did finally profess his feelings—to another girl. Spending a year of your life swooning over a guy only to discover he never fancied you “that way” can feel like a small death, can’t it?
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- Speak up, even if your voice shakes