Will You Forgive Me?
I was supposed to write a blog post about Oklahoma tonight. I tried, but the words didn’t come. I watched a dozen different videos about the tornado (this one is my favorite where an elderly lady finds her dog!), read others posts about the event, and tried all my usual tricks–coffee, dessert, prayer, music–to start writing.
But I just couldn’t. I knew what I needed to do.
I needed to ask a friend for forgiveness.
It’s one of those messy situations where you can justify your actions, your words all you want–but there’s that lingering pit in your stomach that tells you it’s not ok. That you hurt someone you love and you need to talk about it. You need forgiveness.
All I wanted to do was brush it under the rug, write my blog post about the devastating tornado in Oklahoma, and deal with the situation tomorrow or perhaps next year. It’s humbling to admit you’ve hurt someone you love and telling them just makes that humility grow even deeper.
My pride told me to write my blog post and worry about it tomorrow; my heart told me to call her that moment.
I called her and told her how sorry I was, how I’d really messed up. I told her how I didn’t know what the truth was in the situation, but I did know that I loved her and wanted our friendship to move forward. Even though I did a terrible job being a friend to her over the last 9 months, I tried to communicate ”I’m with you” versus what I’d been communicating: “I don’t agree with you”.
I asked and she graciously gave. I feel relieved. A weight has been lifted. I can sleep, perhaps with a little less pride tonight. Until I wake up tomorrow and continue to hurt people and have to ask all over again. I am reminded that the simple question, “Will you forgive me” should never be far from our lips. And the grace of Jesus will always taste a little sweeter after we humble ourselves and ask.
Now, even though I didn’t write about the terrible tornados, will you consider texting the word STORM to 80888 to donate $10 to The Salvation Army’s efforts in Oklahoma? It I love when texting can be used for helping people! It takes one second and imagine how many we could help with our combined efforts. I’m praying for the people of Oklahoma and I hope you will join me. How quickly our lives can slip away.
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