Real Men Wait for Sex | Excerpt from Real Men Don’t Text


Man in Car, Manly Man

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Today’s excerpt is from one of Michael’s chapters, Real Men Wait for Sex, in Real Men Don’t Text:

I wish I could talk to the guy in your life and figure out his intentions, but an even clearer way to discern if he really likes you is ­to—​­take a deep ­breath—​­take sex off the table. Make it clear to the guy that you are not sleeping with him, and see if he still calls, takes you on dates, and seems interested in getting to know you. Many women jump into bed with guys, hoping it will fuel the ­relationship—​­or start ­it—​­when the only thing that sex does is muddle his intentions. Is he calling you because he wants to get to know you, or does he just want to sleep with you? You’ll never know unless you stop giving him physical benefits. If he whines and complains, threatens to break up with you, or never calls or texts again, at least you figured out quickly where his heart ­is—​­or isn’t. As men, we will always work for what we want. Translation? If he likes you, he won’t let a lack of physical benefits deter him from dating you. That’s the type of man you want to be with anyway, right?

I love what Brett McKay says on his blog The Art of Manliness:

Married men are having better and more frequent sex than their single buddies who go to clubs each weekend trolling for a woman who is willing to take them home. . . . Married sex is even better than cohabitation sex: 50 percent of married men find their sex life physically and emotionally fulfilling, compared to only 38 percent of cohabiting couples.

Marriage equals more frequent, better sex. Simple.

— Excerpt from Chapter 4 of Real Men Don’t Text. Buy your copy today (and send us your receipt at  and enter to win an iPad mini below!

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9 Responses to “Real Men Wait for Sex | Excerpt from Real Men Don’t Text”
  1. Louise says:

    Hi Ruthie, I agree with your message that if a guy likes you he will wait for the physical, but I think it’s a bad idea to equate marriage with better sex- it just raises expectations and then if couples aren’t having mind-blowing sex after marrying they will feel let down. Also, Christians seem to either see sex as for marriage, or one night stands. There are lots of cohabiting/long-term couples who are having committed, greta sex too but may not want to marry because they don’t see the need or aren’t religious.

    • Adam says:

      Agree with Louise. Sex can be great in marriage and out of marriage…it should be waiting because we’re obedient not because we want great sex.

  2. Greg says:

    I think the question we need to be asking ourselves in every area of life (and sexuality is no exception) is: What is my heart’s response when God says “Wait for marriage”? Are we going to obey Him, and trust the fact that He designed it for specific purposes, and knows what we need, or are we going to reject Him? We live in a world that tries to rationalize and ignore the damage and domino effects of their sin and disobedience to that simple question. I used to be one of those people in regards to pornography, until God in His grace rescued me from it.

    • James says:

      THANK-YOU! Not to sound judgmental toward people’s choices, but Greg makes a good point. We all know sex feels good, but when we turn our lives over to Jesus, we have to remind ourselves why God created sexual intimacy.

  3. Jake says:

    Looking forward to reading this book. As a man, I know I need to be challenged in this area because honestly sex is not something we really have to work that hard for. But it really devalues the experience when it comes so easily. I wish women weren’t the gatekeepers of sexuality, but unfortunately they still mostly are.

  4. Sarah S. says:

    Cannot wait to read this book!!!!!!!!!! I’m so sick of the ‘hookup’ scene and guys who only want one thing. Hoping real men don’t text will help me find a keeper:) :P ;)

  5. Laura says:

    Really? Please don’t tell me your book is actually telling people to wait for sex?! That is such a terrible idea and I don’t know why Christians pretend like sexual incompatibility isn’t a real thing! UGGGG. Stop the nonsense. It’s healthy to figure out what you like sexually before your tied down, ppl.

  6. Dale says:

    I am a man over 30 work for a national ministry and finally after all these years bought my Chastity ring. I plan on letting my wife remove it from my finger and give her the privilege of placing a wedding ring on my finger. I can’t think of a more special vice to give someone what trust will be built when she feels safe and secure knowing I waited for my princess!

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