A Single’s Guide to Surviving the Holidays
Oh, yes. The dreaded question from your relatives, your mom, that girl from high school who has “the perfect life”, and the randoms at holiday parties.
“Why are you still single?”
Or maybe they ask, “Are you dating anyone?” or “What’s new in your love life?”, some variation of the same question that makes you feel like you are in a category of misfit singles. Your relational status does not define you, anymore than how thin you are or how much money you make–but it can feel like it’s all anyone cares about.
I remember one of my parent’s friends asking me (with direct eye contact), “When are you going to quit this China thing and come home and get serious about getting married? Beauty is a ticking clock.” I floated around the party of the rest of the evening feeling desperate, somewhat hopeless, like my window for happiness would soon expire.
So, I get it.
But this Christmas, why not have a little fun with the annoying questions?
Here are a few tips Michael & I came up with after drinking entirely too much coffee (as you’ll see from our enthusiasm in the video below):
1. The distraction. Something is always cooking at Christmas. Immediately following a question about why you don’t have a ring on your finger, gasp and say, “Do you smell that?! I think something is burning!”. Exit the conversation and dart to the kitchen.
2. Turn the tables. So everyone has a question that they’d rather not be asked. Instead of explaining your relational status, why not turn the question around. That overweight uncle of yours probably doesn’t want to be asked how his new years resolution of losing weight is going.
3. Offer unsolicited advice. It seems that most think it’s appropriate to start giving relationship tips to singles. Did you ask where the best place to meet someone is? No, you didn’t. Do you need another reminder not to be too picky? Nope. Instead of getting flustered, start rattling off some advice about their love life, business, social calendar, home remodeling project, or healthcare. Whatever they definitely didn’t ask for your advice about, make sure to give them your two cents.
4. The contest. Just for fun, count how many different people ask you questions about your relational status this December. Report back and whoever was asked the most gets a special prize!
5. Remind yourself of the truth. Getting married is easy, staying married is hard. You’re waiting for the right person.
We’re grateful for each of you & want you to enter the holidays with some humor! Let’s swap stories in the comments below about the most uncomfortable situation where someone asked about our relational status. Come on, share! It will be good for everyone.
Also, check out the video on this topic Christian Mingle asked us to make. We’re going to be shooting more short videos for them, so stay tuned.
Share your story of being asked some version of “why aren’t you dating anyone?” below!
If you liked this post, you may also like:
- It’s Time For a Breakup
- Counseling Recommended
- 20 Great Questions to Ask Your Spouse
- Our Favorite Relationship Questions