What great husbands are made of
Today is my third wedding anniversary.
I vividly remember walking down the aisle towards Michael, thinking, “I can’t believe he chose me. I can’t believe he chose me”. I felt unworthy of such a great man. I didn’t have the faintest notion of what the future held as no one does, but I wasn’t worried. I knew no matter what happened, my Michael would be holding me.
There’s a bestselling book out there with the tagline, “What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?” I hate that and frankly don’t like the book. These past three years have been the happiest of my life. It goes without saying that marriage has difficult seasons, hurt feelings, sickness, tragedy, unfair accusations, and tired mornings–but this gift is also full of laughter, impromptu dance parties, lazy days on the couch, celebrations, Christmas mornings, and best of all, companionship. We shouldn’t hold marriage on a pedestal or hope a spouse will save us; neither should we grit our teeth and carry out our marriage like we’re running a start-up together. We have to stay connected to the love story.
Shauna Niequist recently wrote this beautiful post about marriage. Listen to how she describes the path to a great marriage:
“Because marriage isn’t a business, co-owned and managed. It’s a love story, something we’re writing every day. We’re learning all over again this year that the most important things we can give our marriage are time and romance and memory-making, kissing and laughing and writing a love story. Like I told my newly-wed friend, laundry can wait, but a love story needs to be written a little bit every day.”
When I said “I do” on a beautiful June 4th evening in 2011, I knew I chose a good man, but what I didn’t know was all the additional joys Michael would bring to my life. I am sitting here with a little baby inside me three years of hindsight into what makes a good husband–so I thought I would share.
What great husbands are made of:
Aspirations. He has goals, but not ones that are more important than spending a little time everyday writing a great love story.
Courage. A great husband is made of courage to do the right thing even when the wrong or easy one is popular.
Sacrifice. A great husband won’t hide behind his ‘calling’ or dreams, but will do what is necessary to provide for a family.
Forgiveness. One who knows how to say three words: “Will you forgive me?” Or simply, “I messed up”.
Laughter. A great husband will make sure the hard times are punctuated by laughter that leaves your
abs baby belly sore for days.
Kindness. He is kind, extra sensitive on the hard days, and knows just what to say when the declaration is made, “I look terrible.”
Listening. A great husband listens. He puts away all distractions and listens to you share about the hard day at work, even if the story takes
27 times twice as long as it should.
Fatherhood. A great father who will hold his daughter tight, dance with her in the kitchen, and tell her she’s beautiful. A dad who will comfort his son when he’s sad and always remind him he has what it takes.
Michael-thank you for being everything in this list and more. These past three years have been the happiest of my life. Here’s to the next year of bringing our sweet baby into the world and learning how to juggle parenthood–but never forgetting to write a little bit of our love story every day.
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