On empathy

holding hands

I was harboring a secret, until I couldn’t anymore. I told a friend my story in the bathroom of a pub of sorts. It was 2008 and we’d just watched Obama win the election. I didn’t know how she’d react. My mouth stuck together as I rambled on; I needed Chapstick. I wanted to be […]

Speak up, even if your voice shakes

speak the truth, even if your voice shakes

I was finishing up my morning workout at the gym when he spotted me. It wasn’t normal, the way his eyes lingered and gazed up and down my body. I looked at the floor and focused on my workout. He approached me and I felt panicky and breathless, trying to brush away concern. There were […]

A Letter to Sexy-Instagram Posters

sexy selfie

  (This letter is in response to this controversial letter to a teenage girl from a mom who blocks sexy-posters her from her sons’ social media feeds. Dear Sexy-Instagram Poster, I see you. That feels like a good place to start. I see how you long to be beautiful, to be told you are beautiful. […]

The Poisonous Victim Mentality

girl sitting on bed

“Why me?” I asked the all-too familiar question followed by a bit of wallowing. I shuffled around the house, feeling sorry for myself, blaming my problems on anyone and everyone. It was my parents, my boss, my terrible circumstances—all of it made a list letting me off the hook. For years, I struggled with this […]

Is God Enough?

counseling

Have you ever felt like God just wasn’t enough? That His presence couldn’t solve your problems, nor assuage your deepest fears? I received an email from a reader and, with her permission, here is a portion of her question: “You mentioned in a few of your posts that you have seen a counselor.  Given your […]

Counseling Recommended

Importance of Counseling

“I’ve just come out of a bad relationship and I’m wondering if it’s too early to start dating again?”  “I was sexually abused as a child . . . and I didn’t realize until recently how much it affects my life. Do you have any advice?”  “My boyfriend pressured me to have sex with him […]

The Story of Addictions

snow scene

On Monday, we talked about faking happiness and today I want to discuss how pretending to be happy and have it all together actually keeps us from finding joy. The question for today: Do you want relief more than you want God? And since last night’s kickoff for Impact was such a success (come next week […]

Achy-Breaky Hearts | On Moving On

Breakup

I snatched my phone off the bedtime table, silenced the alarm, and slinked back under the covers. I don’t want to be human today. I don’t want to function. I can’t function. My boyfriend Jacob and I broke up the week before and the ending of our relationship made my heart hurt in places I’d […]

Healing Shame

playground

  Lunchtime. 5th grade. {When is middle school ever easy?} My friend Caroline and I carry our lunches in brown paper bags outside to the playground. We talk about what fifth graders talk about: movies, boys, nail polish, and our (insert eye roll) exasperating teachers & parents. Then, we hear it. “Here comes fat big Ruth. […]

Never Have I Ever : Uncovering Promiscuity

223650906_selltutq_c1

We sat in a circle of 200 college women and played “Never Have I Ever”. It was our sorority pledge retreat back in college. Never have I ever lied and told a guy I was a virgin! Never have I ever only had sex drunk! Never have I ever hooked up with two guys in […]