• inspiring quote

    stop quitting

    Monday, February 2, 2015

    We all have the tendency to be quitters. We quit when things get hard, quit when we don’t feel like it, quit when there’s opposition, and quit because it’s Tuesday. But why do we quit? Sometimes it’s because we allow people’s words to make us feel like we don’t have what it takes. Like we’re […]

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  • woman in mirror

    big thighs, blue dresses, and self-love

    Tuesday, September 9, 2014

    Under the bright dressing-room lights at Target, I try on countless outfits. I am seven months pregnant. My body looks different now with new curves and indentions and a belly that swells each day. “I am really pregnant” I think and put on long blue dress, hoping it won’t look as bad as the others. I turn […]

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  • girl with a map

    What do you really want?

    Tuesday, July 29, 2014

    What do you really want? It is a husband? A job? A group of friends? A healthy baby? A certain life path? It’s a simple question, but one I think we avoid asking because we’re afraid of speaking aloud the answer. Because when we don’t want anything, then we can’t get our hopes up, which in […]

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  • Real Men Don't Text

    Real Men Don’t Text Book Club

    Wednesday, November 6, 2013

    I’ve received several emails from people saying how great Real Men Don’t Text is to talk through as a group. One group even invited me to join them for their last study. How fun! If you are in a book club, at a college, in a Bible study, a youth leader, a mom in a […]

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  • man giving flowers

    Forgiveness Won’t Fix Your Toxic Relationship

    Monday, November 4, 2013

    I recently had coffee with a victim of an emotionally abusive relationship. Every time she was ready to leave him after an outburst, he would return the next day and apologize profusely, sometimes with flowers or big displays of affection, begging her for forgiveness. After her somewhat unemotional description of his violent behavior, she asked […]

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  • couple on a bench

    16 Things Every Woman Should Know How to Say to a Man

    Monday, October 21, 2013

    The worst thing a woman can be in a relationship? Silent. But the art of expressing ourselves in living words, not typed ones, proves increasingly challenging. Here are 16 things I, like many of you, wish I learned to say to a man right as I came of age instead of a decade too late. […]

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  • Texting

    Are You Wearing Text Goggles?

    Wednesday, October 16, 2013

    As a millennial, I understand the appeal of the text message. It’s easy, convenient, non-threatening, and can be ignored. I have texted guys to suggest a hang out when I hadn’t heard from them in a while; I have received tweets, texts, and emails from men for last-minute ‘dates’ that never seemed to work out […]

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  • Bride and bridesmaid

    When God gives her a husband and you’re still single

    Wednesday, October 9, 2013

    Her email landed in my inbox just after 2am. “How could God give her a husband and not me?  I’ve gone home alone a million times when she went home with a guy. I’ve waited and saved myself for my husband and she hasn’t. She’s cleaned up her act recently but she’s only spent 6 […]

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  • sexy selfie

    A Letter to Sexy-Instagram Posters

    Wednesday, September 11, 2013

      (This letter is in response to this controversial letter to a teenage girl from a mom who blocks sexy-posters her from her sons’ social media feeds. Dear Sexy-Instagram Poster, I see you. That feels like a good place to start. I see how you long to be beautiful, to be told you are beautiful. […]

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  • © 1978 ABC

    Men: This is How You Ask Her Out

    Tuesday, September 3, 2013

    Real Men Don’t Text is officially available today everywhere books are sold! Michael wrote this post for the men out there who want to date differently, but don’t know where to start.  Spoiler alert: it will start with a plan and a phone call. When I was in high school and college, the easiest (read: […]

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Chickens or Eagles? | On Choosing Friends

When I was a freshman in college, I drank. A lot. I started the weekend on Wednesday with a classy game of beer-pong. On Thursday, I usually went downtown with my fake ID. Fridays and Saturdays were reserved for date parties, fraternity hopping, and my ‘sexiest outfits’. And then, my life came unraveled. But that’s […]

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Michael and Ruthie Dean

Dear Mr. Valentine

Dear Mr. Valentine, please don’t make my amazing readers who are disheartened that they are alone feel terrible today. They have already been chosen and I’d appreciate if you stopped filling their minds with lies about their worth. Yours Truly, R.D. Happy Valentine’s Day from The Deans! I had the utmost privilege of speaking at […]

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Women Texting Back

Why Women Text Back

I’m thrilled with today’s post because I love the message & it’s from a good friend. Andrea Lucado is a book publicist by day and a freelance writer by night. She’s written for Collegiate magazine, Christianity Today and other print and online publications. She would love to be meet you via Twitter, @andrealucado, or hear […]

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Writing Heart

Babies, American Idol, and Writing

When I dreamed about the life of a writer, I somehow imagined more security, perhaps more fist-bumps at trendy restaurants, and definitely less criticism. Oh I was wrong! Last week, when I wrote the post, Your Body is Not the Problem, I barely slept after reading some of the comments. I was riddled with insecurity. […]

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The Separation of Church and Hate

It was one of those tough moments where the air feels oppressive and you start to sweat. A good friend sat across from me on my couch, fumbling with her rings. She had just broken the news to me: “I’m getting a divorce”. It felt weighty, even unbelievable. As she sat on my couch and […]

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Girl Hiding

Your Body is Not the Problem

“Those high-school girls . . . they dress so slutty,” she said and then casually chuckled and added, “It’s a battlefield for men out there.” My entire body felt tingly and hot, as I sat quietly. I didn’t quite know why her words prompted such a strong response inside me, but I excused myself to […]

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The Circle Maker Image

Book Giveaway! | The Circle Maker

I’m a terrible pray-er. I get distracted; I can’t sit still. I find myself often praying in vague terms and in a formulaic manner, with lots of “if it’s your will”s. I know that prayer is just talking to God, but I think I stopped praying from my heart and truly asking for my greatest […]

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Overwhelmed Writer

Overwhelmed and Under-Qualified

“Hit send! Hit send!” Michael enthusiastically peered over my shoulder. On January 9th around 1am, we finished the first draft of Real Men Don’t Text. The flood of emotions of turning in your blood, sweat, and yes, tears, in the form of a 52,000 word document was exhilarating. Was this really happening? Are we really […]

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Couple Walking

Stop Praying. Start Asking. | Christian Men Need to Man Up and Date

Michael is the writer of today’s post. I’m really proud of him for conveying such a tough message! I was talking with a group of Christian men the other day and was given astonishing insight into the current dating scene. As I sat down with them to talk about life, I found something concerning: none […]

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Book Giveaway! The 5 Money Personalities

When Michael and I came home from our glorious honeymoon, we were awakened into the world of joint checking accounts. At first, it was hard to navigate how to spend money. Is it ok if I get Starbucks with friends? How will he respond when I pick up some shoes at the mall? Michael didn’t […]

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