• inspiring quote

    stop quitting

    Monday, February 2, 2015

    We all have the tendency to be quitters. We quit when things get hard, quit when we don’t feel like it, quit when there’s opposition, and quit because it’s Tuesday. But why do we quit? Sometimes it’s because we allow people’s words to make us feel like we don’t have what it takes. Like we’re […]

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  • woman in mirror

    big thighs, blue dresses, and self-love

    Tuesday, September 9, 2014

    Under the bright dressing-room lights at Target, I try on countless outfits. I am seven months pregnant. My body looks different now with new curves and indentions and a belly that swells each day. “I am really pregnant” I think and put on long blue dress, hoping it won’t look as bad as the others. I turn […]

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  • girl with a map

    What do you really want?

    Tuesday, July 29, 2014

    What do you really want? It is a husband? A job? A group of friends? A healthy baby? A certain life path? It’s a simple question, but one I think we avoid asking because we’re afraid of speaking aloud the answer. Because when we don’t want anything, then we can’t get our hopes up, which in […]

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  • Real Men Don't Text

    Real Men Don’t Text Book Club

    Wednesday, November 6, 2013

    I’ve received several emails from people saying how great Real Men Don’t Text is to talk through as a group. One group even invited me to join them for their last study. How fun! If you are in a book club, at a college, in a Bible study, a youth leader, a mom in a […]

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  • man giving flowers

    Forgiveness Won’t Fix Your Toxic Relationship

    Monday, November 4, 2013

    I recently had coffee with a victim of an emotionally abusive relationship. Every time she was ready to leave him after an outburst, he would return the next day and apologize profusely, sometimes with flowers or big displays of affection, begging her for forgiveness. After her somewhat unemotional description of his violent behavior, she asked […]

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  • couple on a bench

    16 Things Every Woman Should Know How to Say to a Man

    Monday, October 21, 2013

    The worst thing a woman can be in a relationship? Silent. But the art of expressing ourselves in living words, not typed ones, proves increasingly challenging. Here are 16 things I, like many of you, wish I learned to say to a man right as I came of age instead of a decade too late. […]

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  • Texting

    Are You Wearing Text Goggles?

    Wednesday, October 16, 2013

    As a millennial, I understand the appeal of the text message. It’s easy, convenient, non-threatening, and can be ignored. I have texted guys to suggest a hang out when I hadn’t heard from them in a while; I have received tweets, texts, and emails from men for last-minute ‘dates’ that never seemed to work out […]

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  • Bride and bridesmaid

    When God gives her a husband and you’re still single

    Wednesday, October 9, 2013

    Her email landed in my inbox just after 2am. “How could God give her a husband and not me?  I’ve gone home alone a million times when she went home with a guy. I’ve waited and saved myself for my husband and she hasn’t. She’s cleaned up her act recently but she’s only spent 6 […]

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  • sexy selfie

    A Letter to Sexy-Instagram Posters

    Wednesday, September 11, 2013

      (This letter is in response to this controversial letter to a teenage girl from a mom who blocks sexy-posters her from her sons’ social media feeds. Dear Sexy-Instagram Poster, I see you. That feels like a good place to start. I see how you long to be beautiful, to be told you are beautiful. […]

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  • © 1978 ABC

    Men: This is How You Ask Her Out

    Tuesday, September 3, 2013

    Real Men Don’t Text is officially available today everywhere books are sold! Michael wrote this post for the men out there who want to date differently, but don’t know where to start.  Spoiler alert: it will start with a plan and a phone call. When I was in high school and college, the easiest (read: […]

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Am I Worth Loving? | Wrestling with Rejection

In preparation to share my story at a Vanderbilt Greek retreat next weekend, I spent hours yesterday reading back through my college journals. Several themes emerged from the pages, but I mostly wrote about desiring love. And rejection that seemed around every corner. I find it intriguing that when asked about my college years, I […]

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“100 Reasons Why I Like You” : A Love Story

“100 Reasons Why I Like You”—the email subject line that popped up on the screen was enough to make her stop and nearly squeal in anticipation. She turned on her favorite song to “set the mood” and started reading. “I like how incredibly intelligent you are. I like how your intelligence is coupled with amazing humility. […]

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God is a good Dad

“There are several concerning areas of inflammation on both the brain stem and the spinal cord.” The room started to spin. Dr. Lee continued, but his words fell on deaf ears. All I could hear was something was wrong with my husband. Seriously wrong. I tried to muffle my tears/snot/sobbing so he could finish…. “Do […]

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E.R. Visits & Companions for Life

Last Tuesday started off like most Tuesdays do. Michael slept in after his late night drive back from Atlanta; I worked out in the morning and headed off to work around 7:45. The weather was beautiful and sunshine filled my heart. But at 2:00, Michael called and said he was headed to the ER. He […]

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You May Not Have an Answer, but You Always Have a Song

There comes a time when it’s time to stop trying to understand God. Two years ago, Michael and I drove into Italy to celebrate my birthday (I was visiting him in Germany) and as we sped along the Autobahn we started talking about a hard situation that still weighed on me. I didn’t understand how a loving God […]

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What if I Never Get Married? The Feared Call of Singleness

“If God calls me to singleness, I’m not answering,” my sister said to me. I remember when a well-meaning woman told me rather callously I needed to stop ‘being boy crazy’ and know that God might never give me a husband. Can we stop telling people they might be called to singleness? After my post, All the […]

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Six Common Misconceptions about God’s Will

Where is God calling you? What is God’s will for your life? I believe God has a unique assignment for each one of us–some way He wants us to bring His healing & His peace to those on earth. It can be confusing, can’t it? You want to follow God, but there are all kinds […]

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The Road Less Traveled : On Choosing the Right Path

How do I figure out what to do with my life? How do I choose a career path? How do I go about making a big decision–one that will forever change me? I remember exactly where I was sitting–on a tan couch I’d bought off Craig’s list in my apartment in Atlanta. The Logic Games […]

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Will you take 30 seconds to help me improve my blog?

RuthieDean.com is undergoing some changes and I need your help! Will you take 30 seconds and answer the questions below? I truly value your feedback and want to provide every reader with the best experience. (Please make sure you click “vote” after each question.) I am considering changing my tagline. Also, I will be adding […]

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If I’m so “pretty & awesome”…why isn’t anyone asking me out?

Last week, I wrote Never Have I Ever : Unveiling Promiscuity where I discussed pain as a driving reason behind promiscuity. Daddy issues & sexual abuse were two of the stories I heard over and over from promiscuous women. Today, I want to continue the discussion–because I believe it is vital to understand another component […]

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