“…God? I’m still not married.” | A Guest Post from my husband

Faithful blog readers — after your feedback from “Its Time for a Breakup“, my husband, Michael, wanted to write in from a guys perspective of waiting for the right one.

Image of Skeleton Waiting

Michael Writes… I’ve been thinking about marriage since I was in the 4th grade. By the age of 17, I was STILL NOT MARRIED and Y2K was coming – the world was possibly coming to an end – and I was still SINGLE. As ridiculous as it may sound, I prayed about the possibility of marrying Vanessa Muzzilo (my first girlfriend)– just in case the world did end – and told God, “it was a fail proof plan”. Hilarious.

The world did not end, so there was no need to repopulate the planet and secondly, what a dumb idea! God did not give me the wife I prayed for – and I was crushed.
I didn’t marry Vanessa and entered college and left college SINGLE. Doesn’t everyone meet their soul mate in college? Well, I didn’t – despite my lack of prayer and searching. I saw my friends marry off one by one after college – and there were times of strength and definitely times of loneliness and weakness. Had God forgotten me?

At the end of my time in college, I was ready to live out my faith and, as I indicated, get married. I told God, “I’m ready to be challenged to live out my faith and rely on you. God, if you have time put a beautiful German girl in my life because I’m not married (in case you haven’t noticed) and I’d like to be by the age or 25. Amen.”

The next four and a half years in Germany were not exactly the way I would have written them, but I wouldn’t forfeit a minute of my time there because of what God did in my heart and life. I have never experienced loneliness as intense as I did in a foreign country. What did that do for me? It taught me the meaning of the verse “whom have I in heaven but you?” Psalm 73:25. Once again, God took the pen from my hand and wrote a story that was truly amazing, including, in my fourth year coming back to the states and being introduced to a beautiful woman who I knew as a child. In fact we had played neighborhood baseball together. Her name was Ruthie.

At this point, I was starting to catch on and watched as the love of my life was revealed to me in the most amazing story ever! At the ripe old age of 29, my beautiful bride walked down the aisle towards me. 12 years after my prayer to marry Vanessa. Was God holding out on me all those years? Never! The Bible describes God as the ‘perfect Father’ and our perfect father gave me the greatest gift next to my salvation — my beautiful wife Ruthie. Not in my timing, but in His.

What if my version of the story had come true, what if I had forged ahead and taken God totally out of the picture? My life would be vastly different! I would have missed out on many, if not all of the great experiences that make me Michael Dean. Germany was the staging ground for my growth and development into the man God wanted for Ruthie. God knew what he was doing. My point is, let God write your story. Whenever we take the pen into our own hands, our hand writing and pictures we paint are a far cry from the masterpiece that he wants to make our lives into.

All good stories have drama, pain, joy and sadness in them, so don’t be surprised if yours does. Remember, we live in a fallen world. Our savior Jesus, however, has overcome the world. Our lives are too short not to trust the God of the universe, who created the galaxies but chooses to focus ALL his love and attention on us, because we are the objects of his affection. He writes beautiful, perfect stories – so let Him write yours. You won’t be disappointed.

Was it helpful to hear his journey? How does remembering God writes the best stories help you today?

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13 Responses to ““…God? I’m still not married.” | A Guest Post from my husband”
  1. Michael! I thought I asked you to not use that picture of me in this post. I really hate how I look in that dress. Gosh. (<-Napoleon Dynamite voice)

    Truthfully, though a handful of my girlfriends and I (4 to be exact – one just came off the market today) are 29 and "you cant get any more single." DateLESS. No, dating and it’s just not working. Dateless – for months and in some cases years. Because we live in a city, being single is much easier than if we lived in a small Southern town. But it doesn’t mean we’re not sometimes frustrated with God.

    I always tell my friends that I would be 100% okay with being single if God would just send me a Save The Date. I still feel like that’s not too much to ask. I also wonder what else I have left to learn in order for the right one to come along. I cook, I live alone, pay all my bills, can fill my car tires with air without them exploding in my face – you know, the basics.

    But by now, I’ve figured out that God knows what He’s doing. So I guess I’ll just sit back and adopt some cats.

    • Michael says:

      Ashley, im so sorry about the picture, it was the only one we had of you, gotta admit it makes a pretty sweet fashion statement though. I only know from my own experience what it means to wait. I can’t speak directly to where you or your friends are at, but I can say this, stay the course. It is not an easy journey, or one that you want to take short cuts on, but the rewards are great. I can remember people telling me to just enjoy my singleness, get out there and do something. I thought to myself after 5 years in Germany, what else is there left to do? Everest? That time that I had with the Lord as a single man, I now know, was very very sweet, just me and Him. Now a new life stage has started and it is time to figure out what it means to know and serve God in this. Ill tell you this too, your future husband will thank God and you for the effort and patience you have shown.
      p.s. i would adopt some kittens instead of cats, they are much cuter and can be used as hubby bait.

  2. Jodi says:

    Wow. Thanks, Michael! Your perspective is very helpful and very in line with a book I just began reading by Eric and Leslie Ludy. I’m trying to get to the place where I fully concede that God is a way better writer than I could ever be. I admit, it does get discouraging, but I know that whatever He has in store for me will be what’s best for me.

    • Michael says:

      Something a good friend told me that blew my mind was it is not so it much about the right person, but the right time. When that time comes about, the Lord will bring about that right person. Looking back at where I was as a single man, I can remember thinking that all the good ones were taken. Clearly I was wrong. :)

  3. leeleegirl4 says:

    I am so glad to have found this post from your archives. God has been showing me over and over how much he is doing in my life now, in the time between when I wanted to get married and when is God’s eventual perfect timing for my life. Sometimes being single sucks, but it is through reminders of God’s goodness that I find the strength to wait hopefully.

  4. seer_vision says:

    So, I have really enjoyed & been challenged by both articles you have written thus far Michael. Being 23 & single after an ended engagement, I’ve really been wondering more about what the Lord personally wants me to do with this time, & have had many similar thoughts that you expressed in this article. Thanks for your openness & it’s so cool how God weaves this awesome tapestry we would’ve totally never seen!

  5. Amber says:

    I’m 36 and getting desparate to find a man soon because I’m afraid if I wait too long no guy will marry me. It’s bad enough that I have cousins who are younger than me that are married or engaged, and I have friends and relatives who have even cohabited and now are happily married with kids. A few years ago I thought I found Mr.Right, and was told by relatives that this guy was the man God wanted me to marry. However, due to his mental health issues and high functioning autism he dumped me for the second and final time three months ago. I was even engaged once to another guy, but he broke the engagement he was struggling with homosexual feelings. Does God hate me and want me to be lonely and miserable?

  6. Kathryn says:

    God has ignored me sadly the devil hasn’t sending me loser after loser which I reject
    I’m 38 ! Never dated dont know why yes I have asked guys out – rejection
    It’s not ok to be single for this long
    If God does it for other people um darn well better do it for me too
    No is not an option and I’ve been waiting for more than a decade
    This is absurd !!!

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