Love Sex & Dating | Am I crazy for waiting until marriage?

Writing about this topic may in fact be presumptuous – but just want to give a shout out to Andy for delivering another unpopular “wait ‘til your married and don’t look at porn” sermon.

The Bible tells us to wait until marriage to have sex. Is this…




…Shouldn’t we try on the shoes before we buy them?

OR should we investigate further?

Andy Stanley has over the years challenged people to wait until marriage to experience sex. In his sermon series entitled, New Rules for Love Sex and Dating he argues once again that sex is not just physical. It wasn’t just a one night stand or a spring break fling or a first love: sex is meant to draw us closer to the other person- body, soul, and spirit— and that is exactly what it does!  The message our culture sends us is, “BE CAREFUL!”  So as long as we are careful not to get pregnant or an STD-will everything be ok? Will there be consequences? Will our sexual pasts effect our future marriages?  Andy’s vote is in: YES.

He says, “many people spend a year planning a wedding and seven years forming habits that will destroy their marriage.” The Bible tells us that sexual sin is the only sin that is against one’s own body-and therefore in a category all of its own.

But is anyone listening?

His message is SO RADICAL that it is easy just to brush it aside as outdated and unrealistic. Because of the first loves, college formals, what happens in ______ stays in __________nights….

Deciding to wait until marriage has undoubtedly been the third most important decision I have made in my life. #1 being trusting Christ as my Lord and Savior and #2 my decision to marry Michael.

College was filled with lonely nights for me. I cannot tell you how many times I walked back to my dorm ALONE, longing to be with someone, but firm in my conviction to WAIT. I cannot tell you how many guys broke up with or loss interest in me after hearing of my “prudeness”.

Year after year, I wondered if my decision mattered. Did it matter? Will it matter when I give myself to my husband in 19 days?

Now before you write me off as some holier-than-thou Christian or someone who doesn’t live in the ‘real world’- I have screwed up in ways I would never discuss on the internet and it is only by God’s grace that I have stuck with my decision. Also, I was blessed to have women speaking into my life starting in middle school about WAITING.

Andy has some compelling arguments: to listen to the sermon series click here.

I want to encourage those of you who have already gone down that road, that you can make a commitment TODAY to wait until you are married. The entire story of Jesus is about second chances. Because we were all screwed up beyond measure – and God sent Jesus to die for us. Because we had no hope of saving ourselves and there isn’t an ounce of goodness in any one of us.

Why wait? Because purity paves the way for intimacy. I undoubtedly believe it will be worth the wait!

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10 Responses to “Love Sex & Dating | Am I crazy for waiting until marriage?”
  1. “Because purity paves the way for intimacy. I undoubtedly believe it will be worth the wait.” Beautiful, so full of truth. Thanks for writing this.

  2. Ben says:

    Great article, thanks for the encouragement. May the Lord be with us as we commit to His ways.

  3. Gladys says:

    Am 24. when in High School, I made 2 decisions on the same day #1. Accepting Jesus Christ as my personal saviour. #2. No sex till marriage. It has it difficulties like men leaving due to my ‘unrealistic value’ but still single and hold on firm to my values. God knew when He advised ‘To keep the marriage bed Holy’

    Hopeful lady.

  4. sex says:

    Excellent post. I used to be checking constantly this blog and I am impressed! Very useful information particularly the closing section :) I maintain such info much. I was looking for this particular information for a very lengthy time. Thank you and best of luck.

  5. Denise says:

    Hi Ruthie,
    I have now read several articles you have written. I have been so impressed by your beliefs. I look at the world everyday and see how far away the world is from Godly values. THANK YOU for being who you are- a Christian. I am also a born again Christian. I have dated many guys who told they are also Christians but it turns out they were liars. Or found out 2 months into the relationship they wanted me to sleep with them. Or guys who told me they respected my decision but every chance he could get he would make fun of me for my decision to wait to have sex until I’m married. It is so refreshing to hear that I’m not alone in my Godly convictions!
    I am so tired of waiting for my “Mr. Knightly. You are a light into the world!
    Congratulations on getting married!!
    -Jaded in SA

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