Real Men Don’t Text | A Video Message

Texting is for hooking up, not for finding meaningful relationships.

And Real Men Don’t Text.

We’ve told you this before, but from all the emails, comments, and feedback we’ve received since Michael told men to get off the sofa, turn off the video game, and pursue a woman and I told women how we fuel the man-boy problem-Michael decided to take the message a step further. Texting is merely a symptom of a deeper problem in our relationships today.

So here’s a video to share with your friends, post on social media, and hopefully generate some good discussion. Will you help Michael and my mission to revolutionize the way people date?

If you share this with your friends, Michael might just call the next guy who texts you for a date and give him an earful. Seriously.

Are you sick of mediocre dating? Tell us about it!

What are your thoughts on Michael’s message? Women-how would you react if a man actually called to ask you out? (Leave your comments, because men need to hear that this is what you want!) Any men want to weigh in?

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17 Responses to “Real Men Don’t Text | A Video Message”
  1. karen says:

    Thank you, Michael, for being an example for men and leading!

  2. Diane says:

    I wish I had heard this message years ago, it definitely would have saved me from learning this lesson the hard way and the heartache that goes with it. Thanks so much for posting this, I know it will help others!

    • Ruthie Dean says:

      Thanks Diane! Michael and I truly desire to help many out there figure out how to date out of a mutual respect for one another and avoid toxic relationships. Please spread the word!

  3. Whitney says:

    Absolutely love this! And the fact that your husband was the one giving the message, validates it to men even more.

    • Ruthie Dean says:

      Thanks Whitney! Yes, I’m glad men can hear the message “man to man”. Michael is committed to changing the future for many women by teaching men to respect the women they are dating, starting with a phone call. Wouldn’t it make all the difference?

  4. Alan says:

    I think the title of the video implies that men should not text at all, when the real message is don’t text when you should be calling. This is clear once i watch the video, but the title is misleading.

    Also, while i fully agree men should not text when asking a girl out, a girl should not break up via text or email either, and I’ve seen it done. Courage is not a quality limited to men, and women should know how to reject a man well, either in person or at least via a live format, not a sent message.

    • Michael Dean (@MichaelDean10) says:

      Thanks Alan! I totally agree. The title of the video is to catch attention and draw people in. I also agree that texting is not just limited to men, I’ve been on the receiving end of harss texts, as well as having girls ignore your texts which also hurts. Since men are usually the initiators in relationships im addressing them. Thanks for the comment.

  5. Jessica says:

    This is so true of our society (and yes Alan women should show men the same respect). I have been doing the online dating thing off and on for a year now and it amazes me that once I get to a point of exchanging numbers with a guy how long they will just text for. I don’t mind the first day or two when your feeling each other out but after that its like “call me already” or what about the guys tht say “hey here’s my number call me sometime” NO ask for my number and call me. Persue me!!! Men today seem to have forgotten how to peruse a women. My girlfriends tell me all the time ” call him, write him, text him, maybe you need to be the one to mke that step”, they don’t understand when I say no I want to be persued like a man perusing water in a dessert, I deserve that much and more. So thank you Michael for standing up and saying it!!! Thank you Michael and Ruthie for following your calling to help us singles out!!!

    • Michael Dean (@MichaelDean10) says:

      Preach it Girl! Couldn’t agree more!

    • Ruthie Dean says:

      Hi Jessica! Thanks for your comment. Michael and I love nothing more than to hear our message is resonating with singles. We truly desire to change the relationships of the future-no more mediocre, respect-less dating. Amen?

  6. Marcus says:

    A REAL real man would ask in person.

  7. Real Man says:

    With all due respect to Mr. Dean and his video, I found his message to be somewhat pandering, catering and patronizing to women more so than actually being a vehicle of change for men. His hypothesis that texting is a lazy form of relationship is biased and relatively an incomplete truth. Various research has shown that texting has become more the norm and an acceptable form of communication in modern society. Mr. Dean’s notion that the reason why men text because of fear is ludicrous and I would argue the more appropriate reason men text is out of convenience.

    Now to be fair to Mr. Dean and his video, I see the point I assume he is actually trying to get across. He wants men to be more engaged and active in the role of pursuing and communicating with women in the dating realm and not for men to rely on texting as the only means of communication. I understand that; but what is missing from his message is the other side… a woman’s responsibility. In fact I would strongly suggest a different approach that would have a much more significant impact on the majority of the audience viewing his video… women.

    Mr. Dean, instead of lecturing down to men about what being a “Real Man” is all about, why don’t you empower women by telling them it is acceptable for them to choose to NOT engage in a “textual” relationship, if they do not want it. Why not encourage women to make that a priority when dating or starting out a relationship. Additionally, instruct women how to tell men that communicating only by text is not something they want to engage in and that a more personal and intimate form of communication is more what they are seeking. Now, I understand your purpose was to address men but let’s be real, if you want change in this case, empower women. As in a line from one of my favorite movie goes, “The man is the head, but the woman is the neck, and she can turn the head any way she wants.” –My Big Fat Greek Wedding. The more women are empowered, the likely they will turn more heads.

    On a personal note, I found one part of the video somewhat amusing. When Mr. Dean spoke of the time he was single and how he had a “bunch” of girls’ phone numbers and on a lazy night he would scroll through those numbers “fishing” for a response. Now as a “Real Man” I found that quite funny, but as woman I would assume that would have come of quite creepy.

    • Michael says:

      Real Man,
      Thanks so much for your honesty! It is very refreshing! A couple counter points: just because texting is the norm, doesn’t mean it is effective in developing a relationship. Men do text out of convenience, I know I do! I just mass texted a group of guys who are meeting for a beer tonight, however relationships need to challenge us to put aside convince and make a woman feel special.
      Real Man, I could not agree more, women have a huge responsibility. They are putting up with convenient communication and help perpetuate the cycle. Something has got to change, my view is, it needs to start with the men. Part of our book is going to be all about empowering women to help stop these relationships.

      Thanks for your comment!

  8. melanie says:

    I love this, Ruthie [and Michael :)]! I have definitely had guys attempt to pursue me by using this route. I kindly let them know that if they were interested in getting to know me, they could call me, as I would not accept their request for a date over a text. No, this was not easy to say. I hardly knew them! But it allowed me to step out of my comfort zone while it also gave them a picture of what my standards were. I found that if they were truly interested, they were willing to take the challenge and call me! It might have allowed them to gain a bit more confidence, while it also paved the way for great conversation. None of them were right for me, but I believe that each interaction helped me learn how to communicate better, preparing me for my future husband!

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