I stood behind the closed French doors, the sweet notes of amazing grace telling me it was almost time. The wedding planner fluffed my satin dress & veil one more time. Breath, I told myself.
The doors opened and I knew the guests stood, the harp and violin grew louder, and the hot June breeze swept through the backyard. But all I saw was him. My groom. He waited for me at the end of the aisle-tears welling up in his eyes-as he watched me make my way down the stone steps and closer towards him.
I can’t believe he chose me. I can’t believe he chose me. He chose me. He chose me!
I cried, even though I promised myself I wouldn’t. I was in disbelief that despite everything, Michael Dean chose me to be his wife.
The thoughts brought a feeling I’ll never fully be able to describe. Hundreds of eyes were on me, but all I saw was him. He knew the darkest places in my life-yet he chose me. The thought beckoned a deeper realization of the truth of the Gospel. Christ chose to endure death, that we may have life. He chose you and I, despite our shortcomings & promises to ‘get it right’—and the Bible says He calls us each by name. We are His.
On my drive back to Nashville yesterday, I talked with a friend about the ‘dark places’ in each of us—the areas we are often ashamed of and don’t share with even close friends. We both confessed a desire to be vulnerable with our friends, but we worry they won’t like us once they know who we really are. “You only love me, because you don’t know who I really am. You don’t know where I’ve been…” are the lies we often believe. Have you ever thought that once someone knew “the real you”, they wouldn’t love you anymore?
Michael is truly one of the greatest blessings in my life—and his love & daily choosing me reminds me of my Father’s love. He knows me fully and loves me completely. It is incredible. Our relationships with our spouses should echo the cry of the eternal God who choses us, despite the dark areas in our lives.
In the words of Joy from The Civil Wars, “The longer you know someone – and the longer you allow someone to know you – the more the light and shadows inside each person become more vivid. This song was our attempt at being as brutally honest about the dangerous and beautiful process of knowing and being known.”
Have you ever been in a relationship where you felt fully known and fully loved? Have you ever taken a risk and shared something hard with a close friend or spouse?